We like cold, hard facts in this column so we went out and commissioned an independent survey to tell us exactly what we wanted to hear by asking a) our mums and b) a bloke wandering round Marylebone station whose only words of English were 'Bobby' and 'Charlton'.

Here are the results:

How much do you agree with the following statement

7 days on the internet is the best column you've ever read:

1 Completely agree: 70 %
2 Agree: 20 %
3. Broadly agree 5%
4. Bobby Charlton 5%

Internet polls commissioned by people with a vested interest are an utter waste of everyone's time:

1. Completely agree 95%
2. Bobby Charlton 5 %

So what did we learn from this survey? We learned that everyone already knows how pointless internet surveys are so we should stop bleating about them and get on with the news.

Lars Bak took time out from his work on Google Chrome's JavaScript engine development to tell us what he thought about the increased competition from the likes of Safari 4 (beta). Despite our (secret, shh) hopes that he'd stick the knife into rivals, he pointed out that he loves healthy competition.

But we did manage to get a bit of bitterness on the site from our friends over at .net – who have started a campaign to rid the net of the elderly and, frankly, terrible IE6, which still has a much bigger share of the market than it should.

Facebook's decision to change its terms of conditions so that it owned not only your photos and information but also the emergency underpants you keep at the back of your draw were pretty darn unpopular, but the social network is attempting to claw back some kudos by putting its new Ts & Cs to the vote. "Our main goal at Facebook is to help make the world more open and transparent," said Mark Zuckerberg. Which is clearly a stupid idea as we'd all be looking up Australia's skirts.

The BBC's IPTV standard – bizarrely called Project Canvas – went to the BBC Trust for rubber stamping / rigorous investigation (delete as applicable). Boxes to get the Canvas Standard (we want a tent as the logo) include PVR functionality, and EPG and, possibly, a picture of Jeremy Clarkson.

Last but not least – Google pledged its support for Microsoft in the EC anti-competition trial in bundling browsers. We can't imagine why the maker of Android and Chrome would do this.

Five things that tech journalists did while Gmail was down

1. Tweeted about Gmail being down.
2. Wrote articles about Gmail being down.
3. Fielded PR pitches about Gmail being down.
4. Hit F5 continuously on the error page.
5. Tried to remember their Hotmail password.

Daily Mail article of the week

In what may be the best juxtaposition ever of 'scarily realistic' with a photograph, this Daily Mail online article inches ahead in a week full of contenders that included a formula for perfect pancakes, and Facebook could hurt your child's brains.

Quote of the week

Steve Ballmer: "I don't want to end up being known as the Jerry Yang of search."