Previously on over-dramatised tech tales: Facebook made a $3bn bid to buy Snapchat
Here's what happened next...
We open on a round table in the corner of a dimly lit, opulently furnished bar. The armchairs are artfully over-stuffed and finished in polished leather. There's cigar haze and the scent of wealth in the air.
A young man is speaking. He's waving his hands energetically as he spins his yarn for the three other men around the table, all business-casual with odd single-lensed glasses on. Their eyes flicker between Evan and something in the air just up and to the right of them.
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"...and it was only $3 billion!" Spiegel exclaims as his story reaches its conclusion and all four men laugh.
Moving languidly with the ease of a person who has more money than most small countries, the sciurine man opposite leans forward.
He smiles the small, satisfied smile of someone who knows he's about to make a really clever joke.
"$3 billion's not cool," he says. "You know what's cool, Evan? $4 billion."
Evan sits back slowly. There is a pause.
"Larry," he sighs. "I'm not looking for cool. I'm looking for ice cold."
He raises his eyebrows, looks each man in the eye, swigs the last of his Mexican Coke and is gone.
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