10.17 We're seeing how multi-touch gestures work on Mavericks, videos... and now we're being shown how to learn. You can drag quotes from one window to another. Tags. Images. Shoot us now.
10.15 We're basically getting the same spiel from before. Now's the time for a bathroom break or a drink, if you're desperate.
Does he remind anyone else of Walt's son from Breaking Bad?
10.14 Integrated graphics. They're Inte-Great! That's our joke. Federighi can have that though... someone text him. Or iMessage, actually.
10.12 OS X Mavericks is being talked about now, Craig Federighi is out now talking GPUs. Made a joke about developers being shy. People laughed. That'll put him at ease.
10.11 Cook mocking those that try to make tablets into computers. So... Microsoft?
10.11 Cook is definitely talking more slowly now. There's totally a man on the side of the stage waving his hands at him with a panicked look on his face.
10.11 Talking Macs now. The computers, not raincoats.
10.10 Justin Timberlake likes iTunes Radio. A billion songs listened to. 60 billion downloads on the App Store. Numbers Apple, numbers mean nothing when there's no enchanting device to get excited about.
10.09 Tim Cook tripping up a bit here with his words. Has he just been told the iPads aren't here yet?
10.08 iOS 7 is being talked about now. 200 million devices running the new software. Helps when you force download it, eh Apple?
10.07 Thank god that's over.
10.06 We're now watching a video of the launches in the retail stores globally. We're watching people shopping.
10.05 9 million sales of the iPhone pair in the first weekend. About eight of those are probably the iPhone 5C.
10.04 We're going to see amazing products from Apple. That's that sorted then.
10.03 Traditional start from Apple. Plinky plunky music, some stuff about making things perfect, a pencil, then Tim Cook came out.
10.01 There are some dancing dots. And lots of buzzwords. Abundance. Choice. Focus. Feel. BUBBLEZ!
10.00 And right on cue! We're off!
09.59 We're nearly at indie soft rock overload. Our internal hatred is a good barometer of an imminent start.
09.57 We've got the 'moment' shout. As in, the launch will begin in a moment. If you have a device, switch it to silent. That applies to all of us, if Apple tells us to.
09.55 Mr Cook is having a right laugh too, apparently. Probably spiking all the speakers' drinks so they fall asleep on stage.
09.53 Not really. Just a taste of the grade A humour we'll be spewing tonight.
09.52 Hold the phone, we just got this news: "The Apple event has been cancelled,. They said they feel overshadowed by Nokia's Windows RT tablet"
09.50 TAKE THAT MONEY, WATCH IT BURN SOMETHING SOMETHING RIVER LESSONS I'VE LEARNED. We're loving this very lyrically-apt music, Apple.
09.49 Want an appetite-whetter? A fuzzy Apple logo? Yeah, you do:
09.44 OK everyone - the time is now, the iPad launch is starting, and we're ready to stuff your brains full of the tablet knowledge you didn't think you knew.
Stay tuned for all the information you'll need right here - we'll be kicking off in quarter of an hour.
The company will be hoping its new slates will ride high on your Christmas wishlist so we anticipate the new iPad release dates to fall within the next couple of weeks.
You can keep it locked to this page right here for news from the launch, keep an eye on TechRadar.com or if you prefer your tech news in 140 characters or under, we'll also be live tweeting the Apple event over on Twitter.
What more could you ask for? A new Mac Pro, some new MacBooks, an OS X Mavericks release date, an Apple TV refresh and maybe even an iWatch? You don't ask for much, do you? Well there's a chance we'll see any and all of those things later on today: we'll keep you posted.
- The new iPads will launch with iOS 7: get a headstart by reading up on our tips and tricks