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8 real-life footballers in Rocket League: which one are you?

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By Kane Fulton published 22 July 2015

Boost it like Beckham

When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Here’s how it works.

Introduction

Introduction

Rocket League has had us hooked to our PS4s and PCs since its release earlier this month. Simple to learn but difficult to master, it's been praised for successfully bringing the drama and nail-biting tension of real-life football to a new and original setting.

Sure, it features exploding vehicles belching out toxic fumes, rainbows and bubbles, played in huge anti-gravity arenas from the future - but you get our drift.

Interestingly, Rocket League's online players have begun to adopt the styles of their real-life footballing heroes. We've identified eight masters of the beautiful game whose trademark tactics have become recognisable in the arena - and why you want them on your team.

  • The PC games you can't afford to miss
Page 1 of 9
Page 1 of 9
1. The Beckham

1. The Beckham

Possessing pinpoint accuracy and a fearsome long-ranged shot, the Beckham is often seen lingering behind the halfway line with one eye trained on the opposing team's goalkeeper.

Capable of executing a well-timed rocket boost to send the ball flying over every player on the pitch into the back of the goal, the Beckham is often relied upon to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat in the dying embers of the game.

Page 2 of 9
Page 2 of 9
2. The Lineker

2. The Lineker

The opposing team's Lineker is easy to spot: they'll be the one hanging around your goalmouth from the first whistle. An opportunist who lies in wait for spilled saves or irregular bounces, the Lineker rarely boosts or tracks back to defend, preferring to lie in wait for a tap-in from close range.

Clinical in front of goal, this type of player can be prone to the occasional mid-game oil spillage.

Page 3 of 9
Page 3 of 9
3. The Jones

3. The Jones

Rocket League is a contact sport just like football, and roughing up the opposition can reap rewards for your team. Taking on the role of the ex-Wimbledon hardman, the Jones can be seen bullying opponent vehicles from the first whistle and isn't afraid to destroy them with a well-timed boost from behind.

If an entire Crazy Gang turns up on match day, you're better off using the walls and driving at pace if you want to leave the arena with your spoiler intact.

Page 4 of 9
Page 4 of 9
4. The Messi

4. The Messi

The antithesis of the Jones, the Messi can weave through defences while making the ball look like it's stuck to their tyres with magnets.

Proficient at making small, precise and accurate directional changes, the Messi's low centre of gravity, fearsome speed and insane technical ability mean you'll need to time your rams and rocket boosts perfectly to stand any chance of clearing the ball.

Page 5 of 9
Page 5 of 9
5. The Ronaldo

5. The Ronaldo

Prolific in front of goal with a tendency to leave opponents tangled in knots, the Ronaldo enjoys nothing more than showboating to goad opponents into rage quitting before the match is up.

Handbreak turns at speed, dummy rocket boosts and 180-degree backflips are all part of the Ronaldo's repertoire. While not much of a team player, they'll guarantee your team goals.

Page 6 of 9
Page 6 of 9
6. The Neuer

6. The Neuer

Just like the German national team's cool-headed goalkeeper, the Neuer is both reliable in the goalmouth and able to start flowing attacking moves from the back.

They aren't afraid of tracking all the way back to their own goal line to block shots - even in 1 vs 1 duels - before expertly distributing the ball to a team player. Calm and calculated, the defensively minded Neuer is only found in players ranked Semi-Pro or above.

Page 7 of 9
Page 7 of 9
7. The Bale

7. The Bale

Deadly on the wings, the Bale rarely goes a minute without a full tank of boost at their disposal. While their preoccupation with driving over orange boost pads makes them seem innocuous at first, the Bale can hurtle from one end of the arena to the other to slot home a loose ball in the blink of an eye.

A big game player, the Bale enjoys nothing more than helping their team reach double figures.

Page 8 of 9
Page 8 of 9
8. The Bendtner

8. The Bendtner

Lord Bentdner is recognisable by their distinctive crown. Oozing confidence, this type of player will piledrive forward recklessly at every opportunity in an optimistic bid to rocket boost any loose ball home. Most of the time they'll miss.

The Bentdner can also be found irritating team mates by chasing loose balls into corners and throwing away possession by driving into the ball too quickly. Ranked Rookie, the Lord is often spotted chancing it with players ranked Semi-Pro and above.

Page 9 of 9
Page 9 of 9
Kane Fulton
Kane Fulton
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Kane has been fascinated by the endless possibilities of computers since first getting his hands on an Amiga 500+ back in 1991. These days he mostly lives in realm of VR, where he's working his way into the world Paddleball rankings in Rec Room.
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