We're getting really excited about the TechRadar Phone Awards as they're now less than a week away. We'll see the best phones, tablets, smartwatches, apps and innovations battle it out for the chance to be crowned the best of 2015 - and on top of that we're running Phone Week too, with loads of great content coming in the next 7 days (including a clue on what the new iPhone 7 will look like).
Don't think all this excitement means we're taking our eye off the ball, and we're here to deliver the tenth edition of Keitai. This week talk you through getting an app refund on Android, get the exciting penultimate episode of our unicorn adventure and grannies show us why mobile phones are an old person's game.
How to refund an app on Google Play
Ever suffered from buyer's remorse after splashing some cash on a fancy new app or game? Well fear not, for you can get your money back - for a limited time.
Google allows you to request a refund of any paid for application (including games) in the Play Store within two hours of purchase.
That's quite a decent time window, but there will still be some apps where that's not enough time to fully test out whether it's right for you. It's the risk you take.
To get your refund head to the app's page in the Play Store and next to the 'Open' button at the top you'll see a green on white 'Refund' button.
If you miss the two hour window you'll instead see an 'Uninstall' button, and your chance of a hassle free refund will have passed.
All hope is not lost however, and if there is something inherently wrong with the app you purchased you can contact the developer directly to request a refund. Scroll down to the bottom of the app's page in Google Play and you'll see an option to email the developer, where you'll need to send a detailed explanation as to what's wrong to have the best chance of getting a refund.
The one before the finale
"Can someone turn the spotlight up? I can't see anyone here!"
The light illuminating the centre of the table grew wider, faintly showing the 12 animals sitting around the edge.
"Thanks, that's better", said the dolphin, spraying himself with a misting machine.
"I call this meeting to order," said the panther. "This could be the most important of our history, so let's not waste time. Winston has left the ship, he found the final BlackBerry supply and Decimatrix is after him."
A collective gasp rang around the table. "You… you mean he knows we took Winston? He's left his office? He's not done that in centuries!" gibbered a baboon.
The panther paused. "Yes, I know. It's bad."
"How was Winston allowed to escape? Were we not guarding him?" asked a rhino haughtily.
"Yes, but he couldn't know what was happening. If he knew he was the key to the future of the Phorest, he wouldn't have been able to handle the pressure…" began the panther, before the rhino interrupted.
"THIS IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH! Look, I don't know what your plan is, but it's clear you're not the right fit. All this talk of prophecy and destiny and the 'future of the Phorest' is poppycock. You told me that this unicorn was important, and I indulged you, but clearly that was a waste of time.
"Now we have an evil Impossible on the move, and it's all your fault. I move that you be dismissed from Les Animaux forthwith, and you be ejected from…"
The rhino suddenly found himself sprawled on the floor, chair sent flying, with the panther pressing a paw to his neck.
"Listen, you jumped up, overweight, leather-arsed, pompous fool – this is bigger than you can possibly know," breathed the panther, his hot breath spreading all over the rhino's face.
"I can't help the thick hide…" started the rhino, before the panther shoved his face even closer.
"You don't know the first thing about what's going on here, you fool. Winston cannot know of his importance, otherwise he could fall apart.
"We're lucky we managed to get to him in time. His robotic reconstruction nearly sucked his soul out, and his dalliance with the council and their foolish belief that Nokia phones hold the key to all existence could have derailed all of our plans."
The panther loosened his paw long enough for the rhino to scramble away, breathing heavily.
"Look, you need to trust me," said the panther, addressed the assorted animals around the table. "Decimatrix has never left his lair before, and if he's finally become mobile, it must mean he knows how important Winston is.
"Yes, we should have locked the final BlackBerry store – he was never supposed to see that we had the final stock of BlackBerry phones left in the world. The fact he has the Storm in his possession is bad, but not unmanageable."
A small meerkat poked his hand up. "Why does it matter what phone he has?" she asked in a tiny voice.
"It is the phone that Decimatrix is connected to. He and Winston are the only two beings that lust after the touchscreen clickiness it offers – and if Winston has hold of one, we're in real trouble.
"We were already worried when we had to use the first Storm to help him live during the operation," lamented the panther, hanging his head. "But the power was masked by the other phones we used, and we believed that Decimatrix would not have been able to feel the power.
"But if he activates the other one, then we're doomed."
The group looked at him in stunned silence. "We always knew this day would come," said the meerkat.
"It doesn't matter…" began the rhino.
"SHUT IT!" screamed the meerkat, startling the room. "This is no time for egos. The unicorn must be found, we need to stop Decimatrix… I will not let my meerkits grow up in a world of terrible phones.
"I'm glad you're on board," said the panther. "Winston can harness the power for good, so we must find him, and soon, before Decimatrix gets to him first."
-----------
Winston landed hard, the fog turning out to be not very thick at all. In fact, the ship seemed to be hovering only 10 feet above, which seemed pointless.
He gathered himself together and trotted forward, trying to work out where he was. The air, thick and acrid, offered him no clue, and he could only follow the strange compulsion he had to keep heading forward.
Decimatrix suddenly felt him. The unicorn was on the move… he could sense his very presence. He was close. The end would be coming soon.
I want more power!
Having your phone run out of juice when you're out is certainly frustrating, but while the inconvenience will have you cursing the manufacturer you're unlikely to be quite as upset as this particular lady in Hong Kong.
Simply put, she's not best pleased that her iPhone has run out of juice.
Scary press shot of the week
A 7-inch smartphone is no laughing matter, so just what is tickling the fancy of this intrepid trio? It's certainly not the gargantuan Samsung Galaxy W, that's for sure.
Actually they're controlling the world's traffic jams, and laughing manically as they watch you miss your flight, are forced to pee in a bottle and lose your temper with the guy who just cut you up for the fifth time.
They're monsters, all three of them. Monsters with massive, stupid smartphones.
Retro video of the week
The mobile phone is most people with those in their teens and early twenties, so the decision by Boost Mobile to fill an ad with those way past retirement age does seem a little odd.
Thankfully their advancing years has prevented them from putting on a sick beat and taking it back to the hood with their homies - "yo Ethel, hit me on my beeper yeah."
Safe.
