Snoop, you don't give a shiznit about games so stay the hell out of my Xbox!

Snoop Dogg
"When I'm no longer rappin', I want to open up an ice cream parlor and call myself Scoop Dogg." Or, you know, do video game voice overs.

It was bad enough that I had to endure Snoop Dogg - or Snoop Lion, or Snoop Squirrel, or whatever moniker he's going by these days – for an entire stage in Tekken Tag Tournament 2.

In fact, listening to his monotonous drawl and catching glimpses of him sitting in his ostentatious gold and purple throne surrounded by female dancers may have actually given me an edge in combat.

But now, not satisfied with Tekken and his recent XBLA game Way of the Dogg (in which, by the way, you play a character unironically named America Jones who learns how to reverse time and punch dudes at Snoop's magical Dojo, setting video game narrative back another five years), Snoop Hedgehog is lending his vocal cords to a Multiplayer Announcer voice package for Call of Duty: Ghosts.

Or should that be Call of Dizzle?

The next episode

Of course, he's thrilled that his voice can be connected with a game that, in his words in the video above, is "so hip and so hood. It says a lot; it's associated with greatness."

He mentions that plenty of his friends play COD, but does Snoop himself? I'm willing to bet I could count the number of times he's prestiged on one fist, but I'm sure the great big fat cheque he received in the post for his time and his trouble would have him arguing otherwise.

Now, despite the often misogynistic undercurrents to his songs, this isn't a personal attack on Snoop Lesser Spotted Dogfish. And in all fairness, the voice pack is a totally optional add-on so if you don't like it, you don't have to buy it.

But, just like the Tomb Raider costume packs for Lighting Returns: Final Fantasy XIII, I find it depressing that this kind of content is being made at all.

No-one is asking for it and no-one thought that it would really add something special to a player's experience. It's a calculated marketing move, pure and simple, where Snoop scratches Activision's back and it scratches his, probably with a rolled up wad of hundred dollar bills.

Snoop Dog in CoD

Want Snoop in your game? It'll set you back $2.99, or around 2 quid in English money (about AU$3)

Ain't no fun

"Snoop's lines were written for him, but he says he was able to add in his own 'Snoopisms' in the recording booth"

It just stinks of laziness – get a famous person, and not one necessarily associated with the game or its community, record a few lines of dialogue, sell, profit.

It all comes off a little bit crass, and with scorching lines like "Squad member active: a brother from another mother," "Homies out the joint, it's party time," and my personal favourite, "Ballistic vest ready: those are some fine-ass threads," it's honestly just lame too.

I'm sure there will be people who buy this, but I'm struggling to think who. I've played a fair bit of COD: Ghosts and I can't imagine anything more distracting when playing online than having Snoop Ring-tailed Lemur asking me "ya dig?" every five minutes.

That said I'm not generally a fan of prominently featuring celebrities in games. Recently, Peter Serafinowicz was the voice of Mild-mannered Pate in Dark Souls 2, and just this week it was announced Charlie Brooker would be lending his voice and likeness to Sniper Elite 3.

However, both of these British TV personalities were approached for the parts because of their oft-publicised fondness for their respective franchises, and they're very much playing characters within the game world.

Snoop is, well, just being himself, Tha Doggfather, the big Dee Oh double Gee. Chatting in your ear whilst you're dropping bad guys like they're hot. Just like real soldiers do.

Yeah alright, I'm being a bit of a spoilsport now, aren't I? Listen, if you like Call of Duty and Snoop Porpoise, have at it. Have fun. Fill his coffers. Let Activision and COD jump that (Snoop) shark.

I'm going to go spend the long weekend drinking Gin and Juice.

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