Right, right, right you lucky people - it's October, it's 2018, and we've just seen some new stuff from Apple thanks to the brand deciding we don't have enough iDevices in our lives.
This is our live blog (in case you're somehow confused where you are), and we live in the auditorium to share exactly what was happening and keep you delightfully abreast of all the latest news of the MacBook Air 2018, Mac mini 2018 and iPad Pro 2018.
Apple hosted the event at the Brooklyn Academy of Music's Howard Gilman Opera House in New York (which is a lot smaller than some of its other venues, and has far less power than the plush surroundings of the Steve Jobs Theater at the Apple Campus).
We were in the room and below you can read through everything has it happened.
Apple October 2018 launch live blog
All times in Eastern Standard Time (ET)
11.28 - Oh, yeah. That really was it. Lana Del Rey sang some nice songs and Tim is saying goodbye. That's it from me then, I'm off to go try out some new iPad and Macs for the very first time.
See you next time, which is probably going to be all the way in 2019!
11.18 - Think Tim is wrapping up now. We've got a musical performance from... wait, who is it? Tim is really getting this going by leading up to something... WHO IS IT?
Lana Del Rey. That's who. I might not live blog this bit. Prepare for some songs...
11.14 - Tim is back, talking iOS 12, saying it's been installed on more devices than any version in history. 60% of iOS devices running iOS 12... within a month? And there's 12.1 shipping today with Group FaceTime, eSim support, and new emojis to express yourself with new face shapes.
'The best iOS version... ever.' Well, Tim, I'd hope so. If it wasn't I'd wonder what was up.
11.11 - We're watching a new video on the iPad now - but how much is it going to cost and when can you get it?
Still watching the video - everything has been enhanced on the Pro, but that's making me feel the cost is going to engulf some people.
Onto the sustainability message now - but no, we're talking about the cost - it's $799 at the cheapest 64GB storage size.
There's also 256GB, 512GB and 1TB, and it starts at $999. And there's an LTE option as well, and you can order from today and buy them from November 7.
Oh, the iPad Pro 10.5 is going to be on sale still for $649 - that's going to be a big option for some.
11.06 - It's clear that this new iPad Pro is very, very powerful. But whether it's something the average consumer will ever use is up for debate. Then again, it's like the MacBook and MacBook Pro decision consumers have.
11.02 - Now Jamie Myrold from Adobe is on stage to talk, well, Adobe. We're seeing full Photoshop on the iPad. It doesn't look that good to be honest. But then again I've never been great at Photoshop, so it might just be that I'm getting lost on what's happening...
There are dozens of layers in this photo, and it's 3GB in size and it's moving at speed. Although we've seen this demo already in the recent Adobe show, but doing it on an iPad is another demonstration from Apple about the blurring lines between this and the notebook.
11.00 - Seeing a demo of the new high resolution NBA 2K gaming, the developer saying it rivals consoles for the very first time.
Showing how the players now have sweat on their brows being added in. Yuck.
10.58 - It's a 7MP front-facing camera. Talking about apps now, saying it's 'as fast as the fastest PC', which is interesting. Also running at 120fps, faster than a console... hmmm.
10.55 - There's a new Pencil that's been redesigned, so it attaches magnetically and charges wirelessly - which is so much better than the weird antenna attachment - and if you double tap the screen it'll open straight into Notes, and you can tap the Pencil to switch modes.
There's a new Smart Keyboard Folio, and it protects the front and back, and has two tilts for your lap or desktop.
It'll connect to external monitors too, making this something you can use everywhere, according to Apple. There's a real feel that this is something that Apple wants people to use over the traditional notebook model.
There's a wonder and tweeter pairs in each speaker to make it sound better, and a 12MP camera on the back too. Apparently not able to do portrait mode on the front though wiht the TrueDepth camara.
10.53 - You can even get this thing in up to 1TB storage capacity... that's going to be expensive, and it's definitely going to be USB-C. This is a real notebook competitor in Apple's eyes.
It supports charging out too, so you can charge an iPhone with it too.
10.50 - The multicore processes are 90% faster than previous iPad Pros, and 35% faster in terms of a single core. Basically, Apple couldn't stick more power into these things. The graphics, apparently, are 1000 times faster than before.
'Xbox One X graphic performance in a product that's 95% smaller'.
And all day battery life too.
10.47 - There's 25% less volume than its predecessor, thanks to all the shrinking going on.
There's a bit ol' camera bump on the back, and cameras on the front for Face ID too.
'The most secoure facial authentication in any tablet... or computer'.
There's the TrueDepth camera in the frame - and you can do it with the iPad in any orientation.
The iPhone X or XS gestures, which came in iOS 12 anyway, is now being used in place of the home button.
This tablet does look pretty decent, in fairness. This is where the iPad should have been ages ago (although Apple was selling enough anyway).
There's a new A12X Bionic chipset inside... maaaaan, this this is going to be powerful as the A12 in the iPhone was already hugely powerful. It's a 7 nanometer process, in case you're wondering. Over 10 billion transistors. Which we are not going to count.
10.44 - Right, there's a lot to get through. There's a smart connector on the bottom (so above the connector). It's thinner and looks more square like the iPhone 4 - the 'iPad we dreamed about making from the very beginning).
There's an LCD screen, and rounded the edges for the new 'Liquid Retina' display.
There's a narrow border design. There's new sizes on offer too - 10.5 is gone, up to 11-inch in the same footprint (so a keyboard connects alongside).
The 12.9-inch display was 'an incredible experience'... and it stays, with the 12.9-inch display getting a smaller footprint. It's almost the same size as a piece of paper, apparently.
10.43 - Tim just mentioned the iPad Mini alongside the Pro... is it not dead, then?
Shocker: Apple is announcing an all-new iPad Pro. It's going to push 'what you can do on any computer further).
GUYS THE APPLE PENCIL NOW MAGNETISES TO THE SIDE. THE WAIT IS OVER.
10.38 - Tim is back on stage. HIs top and trousers are similar in color, and I thought he'd walked out in a boiler suit. Thought we were getting a demonstration.
He just said that Apple Store employees were the 'best team on the planet' and the room went even wilder.
I've just worked out who the audience is made up of.
ONTO iPAD PEOPLE.
(as in, onto iPad, people. Not iPad People. There's not a new breed of hybrid humans coming from Apple.)
10.36 - There will be 60 new sessions, with photo and video labs to show people how to make things work even better than before.
I have to admit, Apple is going all in on making people love the experience of its products better than anyone out there. Every time I see this a small part of me wants to go and learn, and more tech firms should tap that curiosity.
There will be over 70 new forums a year in Apple Stores (basically big screens to sit around) and it's coming to place like Thailand too. There are so many Apple Stores coming... it's crazy to think the brand is investing in this so hard.
And all of the retail locations run on renewable energy, apparently.
10.34 - A lot of chat about how people are passionately making things thanks to learning from Apple, whether that's drawing, music or coding for kids.
Interesting analogy, Angela saying that 'the architecture is the hardware, the experience the software' at the Stores. So a new Apple Store is like a new iPhone?
If you're into the sessions there, the new Apple Store App will give you a lot more detail on what's happening - that's good, since when it launched it was too hard to find any information on them at all, like they were a guilty secret.
10.31 - Right, is that it for Mac? Hope so... it's now talking about Apple Retail. 'It' being Tim Cook, who's back by the way.
Today at Apple getting some love. The whole room erupted again. WHO IS IN HERE?
Angela Ahrendts is on stage, the head of Apple Retail, and the room went equal-wild to Tim.
