Children love vegetables... right? That's what the creator of this vegetable chopping game seems to think at least.
In 'Funny Veggies! Game for babies' (opens in new tab) you'll find yourself chopping up vegetables even though they have happy faces. The first game involves taking a couple of potatoes, washing their happy faces and then brandishing a knife to chop them up into little pieces.
Luckily, it's not as emotionally distressing as you'd expect and instead the characters will just split into two potatoes. Below you can see the whole process:
Each potato displays a completely different emotion once it has been chopped in half, but it seems like such a strange idea in a game designed for children. Oh wait, I meant 'babies'.
It's essentially the plot of Sausage Party, but minus the swearing, sex and every other adult theme we've seen.
Perhaps the most offensive part of Funny Veggies is the lack of humor. There are no jokes within this game making its name incredibly deceptive. The faces aren't even fun to look at as you see the pain on their faces when they're being chopped and put into the pan.
There are other parts of Funny Veggies including a match the vegetable to the outline game, which for a five year old may prove to be fun... but then there's the game on the top right in the image above.
That unassuming bear has a taste for blood. If you play that game, he will start to eat vegetables.
The mushrooms and other veg you feed the bear don't have the happy faces, but it begs the question of why in the universe of Funny Veggies do some vegetables have a voice but others don't?
I assume there must be some sort of oppressive system being put in place by the sentient veg that's holding down the less expressive veg to ensure the ones lucky enough to have faces won't get fed to the terrifying bear.
This is a game for children. FOR CHILDREN.
Appetite for Distraction
Would I play this on the toilet? No. My advice is don't mix toilet time with food.
Ad'o'meter? Surprisingly there are few ads here, but you'll be spending a bit of money to unlock other elements of the game.
Who in the world would play this? Babies, apparently. Either that or anyone who has a sick fantasy of the vegetables they eat being alive as they chew.
Did my phone get hacked after installing it? Everything seems good here.
Should you download it? No... unless you're a BABY.
Appetite for Distraction is a new column where we highlight the weird and wonderful apps and games you can download to your phone or tablet. Want to submit an app? Hit James up on Twitter – @JamesRWP.