We can but pray this is a joke or viral marketing for the next iPhone, although coming from the irony-free land of North America we suspect it's a serious concept.
This is where Steve Jobs' plans for a new 'Master Race' begin.
According to TechCrunch, the Cupidtino app will be locked into only running on Apple hardware and software formats, so you'll need to work out where to download Safari from if you want to idly browse the profiles of single Apple fans in abject horror.
Crazy Frog to hit your carburettor?
Those EU pen-pushers are at it again, this time interfering with the noises our cars make.
The EU is believed to be planning to introduce a rule forcing solely electric-powered vehicles to project "VROOM-VROOM" noises from speakers when travelling at low speeds, in a move designed to stop those who only rely on feedback from their ears when crossing roads from getting run over.
Rather oddly, The Times says there's no plan for any guidelines about what type of noises the cars have to make, meaning you could end up with unique sounds that identify particular types of car - or even motors that make comedy sci-fi whooshes as they pull out of the ASDA car park.
VROOM: "20 litres of electricity and a copy of Top Gear's 20 Golden Engine Noises, please" [Image credit: Flickr]
As if the menace of custom ringtones wasn't bad enough, can you imagine our streets reverberating to the sounds of custom engine noises?
Enough money to buy the next 20,000 FIFA updates
Wade McGilberry is finally reaping some personal rewards after a life of misery spent being called Wade McGilberry, thanks to scooping himself $1m by the simple modern male pursuit of playing a video game.
The huge prize was put up by publisher Take Two Interactive, in order to promote its Major League Baseball 2010 video game.
Wade's astonishing million dollar achievement? Pitching what baseball enthusiasts refer to as a "perfect game" in the game - not allowing a single batter to score any runs or even make it as far as first base.
IT'S NOT UNUSUAL: Video gamer in failing-to-get-to-first-base shock
According to the Washington Post, not even any of T2's developers have pulled off the task, making Wade feel all the more special and like a man who's actually achieved something proper.
A man called Dr Matt Bromowich has created an iPhone app to help sufferers of vertigo, the odd balance-altering illness caused by people's ears going a bit wrong.
Apparently, a precise enough series of physical head movements can help dislodge the crystal bits in your ears that gather and cause the problem in the first place. We don't really believe any of that, to be honest, but don't have the medical grounding to confidently say if it's rubbish or not.
The way the app works might also have you questioning its validity - you place your iPhone on your forehead, then follow the audio instructions describing how to bend your neck and wiggle out those troublesome ear-crystals.
We'd be worried the app actually displays the word "SUCKER" on the phone's screen when pressed to your forehead, as it costs $15.
Liked this? Then check out 10 tech breakthroughs to thank the space race for
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