Hideo Kojima is finally free. Not free in the way America is free, or free in the way "Buy Five, Get One Free" is free - he's broken loose from the shackles of Konami like the dogs in Homeward Bound, and now he's running around the globe like a very happy Golden Retriever that's also quite good at making video games.
During his voyage of discovery, Kojima (known best for Metal Gear Solid and tweeting lots of pictures of sausages) has been spotted at studios in the UK, on boats in Amsterdam, and in restaurants with Mark Cerny, game developer extraordinaire and lead architect of the Playstation 4. Sony is clearly sparing no expense in giving their new man the freedom he wants.
Because Koj was here in the UK not too long ago, and everyone in the UK knows each other, we managed to get a sneak peek at his diary while he was staying in our sister's boyfriend's aunt's house*. Sorry for prying, Kojima!
Day 1 of Kojima's World Tour
The day after I finished at Konami, I wrote this on Facebook:
"Hey friends! I've got a few months spare and I really want to have an adventure but pretend it's for work. Can anyone recommend anywhere cool?"
A lot of people replied and it turns out everywhere is cool, so that's what I'm going to do! Go everywhere! It will be like having a gap year, except I'll be using it to find the "new sound" for video games, which means I can go on Sony's dollar. I shall call it… the Tech Tour.
Day 2 of Kojima's World Tour
Missing you, David Bowie :( You were the inspiration behind putting David Bowie songs in my games.
Day 5 of Kojima's World Tour
I drank lots of beer today. It's like liquid sausage. Fun fact: liquid sausage was the brief I gave to my designers when they were making the PT foetus lol
Day 6 of Kojima's World Tour
Got my face scanned. What does it mean? Will I be in a new game? Am I the new Sam Lake? The answer is yes.
Also, Mark Cerny is now tagging along for the rest of the trip. Eugh, he wanted to go surfboard shopping, and I was like "bro, maybe you wanna go shirt shopping first?" lol.
I think he wants me to make Knack 2.
Day 8 of Kojima's World Tour
Went to go and see my new friend JJ Abrams. Turns out he really likes my stuff, which is cool because I saw Star Wars and it was the best. One of the aliens said my name! But the truth is, I'm annoyed that he didn't ask me to be a Stormtrooper, since it's becoming apparent that literally everyone else in the world was.
I showed him how well I can do the pew-pew noise so that he might recommend me for Episode 8. He said he would try and took down my number, but then I remembered I didn't tell him my number and I'm pretty sure he was just drawing circles on a piece of paper.
Unrelated: had a new idea for a game about aliens. Maybe one of the aliens wants revenge on something. Contact Del Toro-san.
Day 10 of Kojima's World Tour
Shuhei Yoshida sent me a Snapchat of a cat today. The cat was in the dark and all you could see were its eyes. The caption was "still scarier than PT" so I sent him back a Snapchat of my bum.
Then I had some wine.
Day 11 of Kojima's World Tour
Today was the first time I have had time for breakfast, which is my favourite meal of the day (because I just love sausages). A bad thing happened: when I got my luggage off the carousel, someone had taken my name off the tag and written their own on top of it. Why does this keep happening to me? :(
Everyone said they liked my beard though. 2016 is going to be great!
Day 12 of Kojima's World Tour
Went on a plane that had a face. Unrelated: had another new game idea. There's this guy, he walks through a corridor, but you find out that the corridor is a hangar and you're a plane, and then… he gets revenge on someone. Ask JJ for ideas if he ever calls.
Day 12 of Kojima's World Tour, part 2
My beard is itchy.
Day 13 of Kojima's World Tour
Mark Cerny made me try a new thing. It's like sausage, he said, but flat. "Flat sausage?" I said. But then I ate it. Pretty good, but nowhere near as photogenic. I told Mark it looked like something out of Knack. He cried.
Day 14 of Kojima's World Tour
I promise thiss isnt the beers and wines talking but everyons so nICE
Day 17 of Kojima's World Tour
SAUSAGE!! I have missed you. Unrelated: story about sausage. Lots of fog. Sausage is searching for someone. Maybe for revenge???? Make new director friend and ask for advice. Actually, maybe this is Mark's field of expertise. LOL.
Day 17 of Kojima's World Tour
I'm in San Francisco. It's steep and noisy. NOTHIN LIKE SILENT HILLS HAHAHA :'(
Day 19 of Kojima's World Tour
Went to Quantic Dream, met David Cage. Asked him what his next movie was going to be. He didn't laugh.
Remember to ask new friend David Cage about sausage idea. Also, see if he's interested in buying some pliable breast action figures. I severely overestimated demand.
PS Snuck up on Mark and put this mask on him. Almost suffocated him to death. He didn't find it as funny as I did.
Day 20 of Kojima's World Tour
I'v only had two...five beers but I feel like technology is like actual magic
Day 21 of Kojima's World Tour
Went to visit Guerilla. They made me sign games. Eugh, does nobody even remember Zone of the Enders?
At least they made a cool picture of Mark and I on motorbikes. Why does he get to be at the front?
Day 22 of Kojima's World Tour
Now I'm in Paris! You might think that I am here to see Assassin's Creed or something but actually I just really wanted a crepe.
Day 23 of Kojima World Tour
Crytek asked me to go visit them in Frankfurt. At first I was "no way" because the tour was over, but then I remembered I still don't have an idea for the new game and also Frankfurt has the best sausages so I literally ran to the airport.
Day 24 of Kojima's World Tour
Sony tracked me down. Oh well, it's been fun. Now to find another way of stalling on this game. Maybe I'll tell Shuhei I need to go and find my inner peace in Tibet.
Sigh. Maybe I'll just do Knack 2.
Sign up to receive daily breaking news, reviews, opinion, analysis, deals and more from the world of tech.