Congratulations if you are reading this, as you are one of the few beings on this planet who have managed to prise themselves away from the latest instalment of Angry Birds.
Read on for more on this and other tech shenanigans that piqued our interest today. Oh, and a small disclaimer: there may be some stories in here that aren't actually that funny… we have tried to pepper them with as much fun as possible but there's only so much lipstick you can add to a pig. And yes, that is coming from actual experience.
Going to outer space – Jumping the shark, nuking the fridge… whatever you want to call it, Angry Birds have done this with its latest instalment which sees our feather friends kill pigs away from Earth's atmosphere. All right, we are being harsh – the game is addictive as always. But, seriously, space? James Bond couldn't even make the transition to space look cool and he's got a license to kill. [Rovi]
Google spies on Amazon – Google has revealed that Google Street View has stretched to the Amazon, so you can now check out just what is happening in the biggest rainforest in the world – which is jaw-droppingly awesome. [Google blog]
Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan… – Alan Wake has been given a new patch (literally) which adds an eye patch to the titular character if a pirate copy of the game is played. The great thing about the update is that pirates can still play the game, but will constantly be reminded they are dodgy gits with lazy eyes. [Twitter]
Now then, now then – Spotify has added a number of new apps to its music service but one which is standout and UK-only is the Now That's What I Call Music app, which allows you to listen to archived instalments of the pop franchise. Your ears will never forgive you. [Spotify]
Metal Machine Music – Klipsch has teamed up with Lou Reed to offer a signature edition of its X10i earphone range. If you haven't guessed, this means that the headphones will come packing Lou Reed's autograph – perfect then for both fans and those pesky identity stealers. [PR]
Turing back the years - Alan Turing's face may well appear on upcoming £10 notes if an e-petition gets its way. Considering he is the person that's done more for computing in the UK than pretty much everyone else it's great that he is in for a shout. But, will his face fold in a comedy way like the Queen's does? We're hoping so. [Reddit]
Just like Buddy Holly… - Deezer has announced that it now has an offline mode, which means that you no longer have to be jacked into the crowd to enjoy your music. At the moment this mode is only available in Google Chrome but soon all browsers will get it. Even those sadomasochists using IE. [PR]
I can see clearly now – Netflix has announced that it is now compatible with a Retina Display screen which just so happens to be the kind of screen the new iPad has. This can only mean one thing, HD streaming is on the way. Netflix has not confirmed as to when it will be piping hi-def content straight to an iPad but we have our fingers crossed that it is soon. [VentureBeat]
Xperia turns hipster – Wes Anderson has decided that his career needed a small corporate injection and has put his directorial talents into a series of shorts promoted. Sony Xperia S handsets. The first one is kind of cool and includes robots.
Wake up! – Pure has announced a new DAB radio for the budget market which will wake you up without breaking the bank. It comes with dual alarms and will even automatically reset the time when the clocks go forward and back. The Pure Siesta Mi Series 2 is available now for a mere £35. [Pure]
iPhoney – A fake Android shop has popped up in China which sells, er, iPhones. The new shop is in the Chinese village of Nanping within Zhuhai city, if you fancy heading down there to get your iOS goodies. [Google UK]
The heat is on – There's been a lot of talk about the new iPad overheating so we at TechRadar donned some sun cream and did a test.
Check out the toasty results below.
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Marc Chacksfield is the Editor In Chief, Shortlist.com at DC Thomson. He started out life as a movie writer for numerous (now defunct) magazines and soon found himself online - editing a gaggle of gadget sites, including TechRadar, Digital Camera World and Tom's Guide UK. At Shortlist you'll find him mostly writing about movies and tech, so no change there then.