Cyberwar declared on the Duke of Rutland

Belvoir
Raise the drawbridge! And someone reinforce the firewall.

We had an extremely rare case of Algerian hackers causing hilarity this week when they inadvertently hacked into and uploaded hate messages to the website of English stately home Belvoir Castle - the historic home of the Duke and Duchess of Rutland.

Actually it wasn't that inadvertent, they just got the wrong web address, posting an "anti-Zionist rant" and images of the Algerian flag over the castle's usual adverts for weddings, corporate events and thoroughly nice family days out.

The hackers actual target was supposed to be the Belvoir Fortress, which has a long-standing religious significance we'll not attempt to go into here lest we offend people and bring in the Algerian hackers. According to The Register, the staff of the rather less incendiary Belvoir Castle assured the Telegraph that it has "nothing to do with the Middle-East".

Shutdown credit: £0.00

Microsoft has found another amazing way to make money - it's somehow managed to patent the very idea of turning something off. The specific patent that's been granted to Microsoft was discovered by Conceivably Tech, and is simply referred to in official documentation as "Operating system shut down" and appears to show that Microsoft has gained an exclusive on letting graphical user interfaces turn things off automatically.

Shutdown patent

SHUT OFF: It's also an extra 5p per hour if you want to leave it in hibernate

We'll report the facts now, for a change - the system is simply a method to override unresponsive applications and force them to shut down. It might stop you having to sit there, tutting away for two minutes, while Windows bravely tries to switch itself off. You won't have to pay 10p every time you reboot.

Very brief history of religion: It's all lies

Stephen Hawking has laboriously typed out another book, this time courting a bit of controversy by daring to suggest that God doesn't exist. His words, taken from his forthcoming co-written book The Grand Design, basically say that because of physics and gravity and all that, the Big Bang was an inevitability - and that there's no need for anyone to go mentioning God.

Hawkings - no god

HISTORY OF SPACE: "...then Noah activated the Hadron Collider and turned the sinners to salt" (Image from here)

According to the Daily Mail, the fact that we're starting to find many other planets orbiting stars means Hawking thinks we're not as special as we once thought we were and that there's definitely no God. Which also means no Jesus and therefore no Christmas presents for Mr Hawking this year.

Pirates of the Scandanavian Region

Filmmaker Simon Klose is planning a documentary about long-running internet piracy hive The Pirate Bay - and apparently has over 200 hours of footage ready to go. We're not entirely sure there's a market for a documentary about men sitting around staring at computers laughing about email threats from major corporations, though.

Pirate bay film

THREE MEN AND A SERVER: The love interest will be provided by a scene in which they download photos of Megan Fox

According to Wired, the film's distribution method negates the option of making jokes about it being pirated - the plan is to release it for free via Bittorrent. Although there will be a DVD version, hopefully, for those who want to donate a bit of money to the Bay's dubious cause.

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