Don't mention the war

YouTube: caught in the middle AGAIN

The reliable old internet joke of having Adolf Hitler get very annoyed about something could be about to end, thanks to legal action from the maker of the movie which spawned tens of thousands of vague attempts at humour.

Constantin Films, which backed and released the film 'Downfall' from which the famed bunker scene has been lifted ad infinitum, is issuing takedown orders to Google, requiring it to chop any videos which use chunks of its production.

According to the EFF, YouTube can easily use its Content ID system to identify and obliterate all clips, automatically.

Hitler meme

YOUTUBE SIEGE: You've got to get the fonts right. They're only funny with the correct 'arthouse' font. [Image credit: Brad's Vid]

So if you've recently slaved over one in which Hitler gets annoyed about excessive import duty on his new iPad, prepare for an email from Google's Digital Millennium Copyright team.

Incidentally, the actual dialogue being spoken by Adolf revolves around him discovering the Russians are approaching Berlin quicker than expected - and Adolf is annoyed Eva hasn't had time to push the vacuum cleaner around and tidy up a bit beforehand. Just so you know.

Paul, AKA Paul

Poor old Paul Barrett thought he was onto a winner, thanks to a foolproof scheme of listing things on auction site eBay then using a second, marginally secret account to place bids on the items, therefore ramping up the prices - a process angry internet people call 'shill' bidding.

The master of disguise is reported to have created two accounts, one in the name of 'Shanconpaul' and another as 'Paulthebusman'. It's not hard to work out that there may be a common link between those two users.


WE'VE ALL DONE IT: Don't incriminate yourselves in the comments, but we've all at least considered it, right?

Claiming it was eBay's fault for letting him open up a second account didn't work, and Paul was found guilty - and could face fines up up to £5,000 on each of the 10 auctions he was found to have knowingly inflated.

£2.39 or DIE

It takes a lot to get us unsettled. Weird Tech prides itself on not batting an eyelid or gagging in the slightest in the face of the strongest 'material' the internet has to offer - and yet a current print advertisement for the St John Ambulance iPhone app managed to make us feel a little... uneasy.

Ambulance app

LIFE-SAVER: Do you want everyone to die, you selfish fool?

The advert for the app shows a father and son at a bus stop, looking on helplessly as a random person lies on the ground, presumably in the process of dying. The ad then suggests that paying £2.39 for the St John Ambulance iPhone app and teaching yourself CPR could have saved the person's life.

Now, we're as cold and uncaring as the next passer-by who turns a blind eye and walks on, but isn't it just a bit gruesome telling people they're uncaring and evil unless they hand over £2.39?

"Slowly unwrap the old fruit"

Unsettling in a different way is the Nigella Lawson iPhone app, which launched this week for the voluptuous and full-figured price of £4.99.

Are there really people out there who need to pay a fiver to have a celebrity chef tell them it's nice to sprinkle a bit of chocolate on the top of a sponge occasionally without worrying about the calorific content?


TOPICAL CAPTION: Sophie Dahl's so rude she's only on Android

Apparently so, as Nigella's 'Quick Collection' app depressingly stormed to the top of the app charts.

Although there was one moment of happiness - it momentarily took the number one spot from arch cookery buffoon Jamie Oliver.