26 reasons Apple fanboys have got it all wrong
For every iPhone there's an i-rritation or an i-nnoyance
With the possible exception of the people who think Barack Obama is a robot controlled by Hitler, Apple fans are probably the most loyal, vocal and organised pressure group on the planet.
Slag off Apple and they'll fact-check you to death - but while some Apple criticisms are lazy, the firm they're defending is often less than perfect.
From weird products to disturbing corporate behaviour, here are 26 things that give us the Sad Mac icon.
1. Apple TV
If any other company said to its customers - after it had taken their money - "Yeah, we know it's crap, but it's just a hobby" we'd be at their front door with flaming torches.
2. AT&T
We don't even live in America, and Apple's devilish deal with AT&T still annoys us. Our friends on the other side of the Atlantic still can't take advantage of iPhone tethering because AT&T can't cope with the potential increase in traffic. Madness.
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3. Banned, blocked or crippled apps
You can't download a Google Voice app because Apple's in a huff with Google. You can't use Skype on 3G yet because certain networks didn't like the idea. Apps that do a better job than the iPhone's woeful Wi-Fi detector get blocked because they apparently use super-secret API calls. You get the idea.
4. Blu-ray support
Where is it?
5. Censorship
Some 5,000 apps have been pulled from the App Store for sexual content - but apps such as Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit Models are still allowed.
The EFF's app was rejected because it had a YouTube video with the F-word in it, even though the iPhone's YouTube app could access the same footage. Award-winning cartoonists' apps get pulled because they might offend the odd idiot.
A Vanity Fair writer's app gets banned; coincidentally he's often quite critical of Apple. And so on. There are so many App Store bans that there's an entire website dedicated to tracking them.
ACCEPTABLE ON THE IPHONE: You can't have scantily-dressed women in your app, unless Apple decides you can have scantily-dressed women in your app. Hope that's clear [image credit: Apple]
6. DRM hypocrisy
"…any player can play music purchased from any store, and any store can sell music which is playable on all players. This is clearly the best alternative for consumers" - Steve Jobs, 2007. That apparently only applies to music: DRM is on pretty much everything else, from iBooks to iTunes movie downloads.
7. Fear
Apple's culture of secrecy, it's alleged, is partly responsible for the death of a 25-year-old Chinese worker who committed suicide after losing a prototype iPhone. It's claimed that Apple subcontractors are so scared of the firm's wrath they put unbearable pressure on their employees.
8. Finder
Snow Leopard's version has addressed many of the issues that make the Finder a love/hate program, but in our experience it's still slow, crashy and occasionally annoying. Power users prefer Path Finder.
FINDER FAIL: Many power users prefer the Path Finder application to OS X's built-in Finder
9. iTunes
The bigger your iTunes library the more swearing you'll do at iTunes - especially if you've stuck your stuff on an external drive, which seems to cause iTunes no end of confusion. We've lost track of the number of times we've had to recreate our library from scratch.
10. iTunes for Windows
They're not even pretending to try with this one.
11. iPod Hi-Fi
It was bigger than a house and it didn't sound that great. Yours for £250.
12. iTunes LP
When Jobs unveiled iTunes LP, his lack of enthusiasm was palpable. Why bother making and launching a product you don't like, a product that costs tens of thousands for each release? Six months later, just 29 albums were available in the format. Maybe it'll take off on the iPad. Maybe it won't.
13. iWork syncing on the iPad
Information Week's headline says it all: iPad cripples iWork Documents.
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Next Page Media control, product placement, sneaky installs...Writer, broadcaster, musician and kitchen gadget obsessive Carrie Marshall has been writing about tech since 1998, contributing sage advice and odd opinions to all kinds of magazines and websites as well as writing more than a dozen books. Her memoir, Carrie Kills A Man, is on sale now and her next book, about pop music, is out in 2025. She is the singer in Glaswegian rock band Unquiet Mind.