It's times like this that I sort of wish the human race could hibernate. Think about it: we'd go to sleep after New Year's, then sleep through until Easter, at which point we'd wake up, rapidly elevate our blood sugar with chocolate eggs, and then enjoy the spring sun while wearing bikinis and sunglasses. Probably.
And then we wouldn't have to wait SO LONG for E3 2015 to happen. The couple of months in the run-up to E3 are some of the most frustrating in the whole gaming calendar, because all the studios are being more secretive than a spy playing poker in Area 51. Every now and again they'll tease us with the gaming equivalent of a coy flash of ankle at a Victorian soiree - like CoD Blops 3's teaser campaign, which I'm mostly finding incredibly confusing.
What's going on chez Nintendo, then? Quite a lot, since last week's Direct - and not all of it is good. Sad face. Puzzle-solving logic-dude Professor Layton's next outing is on mobile, which means it could be okay - like its mobile predecessor, Mystery Room - or it could be a rubbish, free-to-play, match-three nightmare. The sequel to last year's gorgeous job-hopping RPG Fantasy Life is also on mobile, and early screenshots are making it look a bit too Farmville for my liking.
Story of Seasons - the unofficial Harvest Moon game made by the core team from the original developers Natsume - is now out in America, but not the UK yet. It looks brilliant, and an awful lot better than the Minecraft-inspired official game, Harvest Moon: The Lost Valley. If you fancy a bit of calming pastoral foraging, and slowly building relationships with pixelated hotties, then Story of Seasons is the game for you. If you like crappy Minecraft wannabes with bad anime eyes and characters that all look like children, then go for Lost Valley. Don't say I didn't warn you.
(Oh, and speaking of harvesting stuff...)
Let's wrap up with something nice, shall we? GTA V is coming to PC. Soon. FINALLY. It looks nice and all that, but I'm mostly excited about MODS. Imagine the possibilities: Two-Headed Trevor, flying cars, trucks that turn into dragons, guns that shoot jellyfish. The possibilities are endless. I assume. I don't know how to mod stuff. Check out our preview for all the gossipy information, like whether or not it's possible to load jellyfish into revolvers. Actually, that might not be in there, but you'll just have to read the whole thing to check, won't you?
That's all for this week! Well, actually, it's not. There was more I wanted to talk about, but I just woke up from a three-month hibernation nap and now I'm sleepy.