Some iPhone apps are beautifully designed, a joy to use and a positive force in every iPhone owner's life. Others aren't. Come with us as we discover the iPhone apps whose best features are their icons.
And, in case you really want to look, the links in this article will take you to the app in iTunes.
1. Amuck Plumb-bob
If you've ever wished your £159-plus-£30-per-month iPhone could emulate a weighted bit of string, today is your lucky day. Only a churl would point out that a bit of string does an even better impression of a bit of string, or that string costs quite a bit less than an iPhone.
2. Cold Beer
There are two kinds of people in the world: normal people, and people who like to calculate how long it'll take to get their beer to a specific temperature in the fridge. Only the first group get invited to parties.
3. Flashlight
Flashlight turns your iPhone into a handy torch, but you can get the same effect by launching any iPhone app with a white background – Mail, Contacts…
4. Geek Binary Clock
Clocks: useful. Binary clocks: not so much.
5. Grandma
This app phones your gran. That's it. Grandpa, Dad, Mom and My Girl are also available.
6. Green Light
Like Flashlight, but with an energy saving bulb. Somewhere a polar bear is crying.
7. Halloween Party
It's Halloween. The party's going with a swing. She looks at you. You look at her. She smiles. You whip out your iPhone and start randomly playing spooky sound effects. You go home alone, weeping.
8. iLunch Picker
"Aren't you tired of thinking of today's lunch menu?" asks the blurb. "Er, no," we reply.
9. Mood Glow
Look! The screen has gone a nice colour! Look! It's gone another colour! Look! You're wasting your life!
10. MyLighter
All the fun of a Zippo lighter without the actual lighter – great for concerts! Concerts for simpletons, that is.
11. Parking Meter
If you really can't remember where you parked or when the meter runs out, you've probably forgotten how to drive too. Get off the road!
12. Seismometer
You're in the middle of an earthquake. Do you (a) run like hell, praying to the deity of your choice? Or do you (b) download, install and run an iPhone app to find out just how big the earthquake is?
13. Split Bill
Is it really that hard to split a restaurant bill? And do you really need a dedicated app when every iPhone packs a calculator?
14. The Big Red Button
"Ever wanted a careful way to stop your wife from talking a mile a minute? Use the big red button to send her a nice dog barking sound note that you need a break!" Or hit her with a spade!*
15. Thief Alert
Despite a brilliant video on YouTube, we reckon this is pointless. If you're scared someone might nick your phone, why not take it with you? We know! We're crazy!
16. UK Payphone
You're carrying a phone. So why on earth would you pay money to find out where the nearest payphone is? This is either a surrealist prank or The Worst iPhone App Ever.
* Don't hit her with a spade.
Now read 16 free iPhone apps you can't live without and 8 ways the BlackBerry Storm trumps the iPhone and G1
Your comments (7) Click to add a new comment
louis058
February 5th
7. i'm agreeing with the author, these apps seem really useless, especially the payphone one, why would you PAY for any of these apps? only if ur rich! only the thief one seems to be of any use at all
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machination
November 23rd 2008
6. While I do agree that there is some use for a few of these apps, I am more on the side of the writer of this article. Be honest. A lot of these apps ARE shameful.
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jesusjones
November 11th 2008
5. The author of this article seems like the person you don't want to invite to a party. Who wouldn't want a cold beer countdown clock on their phone! I wouldn't mind one that calculated the time it would take in the ice box. This author needs an imagination.
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utahnkid
November 11th 2008
4. This list is a better example of something shameful. Just because the author can't find a use for some of these adds doesn't mean that no one else can. I have a feeling he knows that though and this was a pathetic attempt to garner some attention by dropping the iPhone name. "I bet if we're critical that's BOUND to get some attention!"
Fail.
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jdg
November 11th 2008
3. What, you didn't include NameTag? C'mon!
http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewSoftware?id=289725482
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jaktheripper
November 11th 2008
2. 12. Seismometer
This is a great application to use in my science class. I see it as very useful, if only for a few.
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