AQA text service answers its 16 millionth question

AQA – Any Question Answered – has just reached the 16 million questions answered landmark, and it has logged massive 2,100 per cent rise in credit crunch questions.

Also, it seems that people are so worried about the credit crunch that they have gone from asking about Santa's favourite brand of sherry to querying the best way to save on their food bill.

"It's clear from questions texted to AQA 63336 that people have been putting off Christmas for as long as possible," said Communications Director Paul Cockerton.

Gift questions

"Normally in November our customers typically start searching for the perfect gift for friends and family, but we've only just started seeing these questions come in.

"In general people are being much more resourceful and watching their pennies - for example we have seen a 31 per cent rise in people asking about drinking and partying at home, rather than going out to increasingly expensive pubs and clubs."

The 16 millionth question asked which was more fun to fly, a radio controlled plane or a radio controlled helicopter? (Answer: "A radio controlled helicopter is more fun to fly than a plane. As it's harder to master, the fun comes in the trying. Planes are too straightforward.")

However, AQA have handily provided a list of credit crunch related questions that people have asked recently.

Are pigeons affected by the credit crunch?
Pigeons haven't been affected by the credit crunch as they tend not to apply for mortgages. There are less of them due to a population cull in London.

Why am I so skint?
You are so skint due to your unhealthy obsession with appearing generous. People love you for who you are, not how much you spend on them.

What country can I move to and become an instant millionaire?
If you can turn a blind eye to Mugabe's oppressive regime, go to Zimbabwe. £38.25 is $Z1m. Before 1 Aug 2008, you'd have got $Z10quadrillion for £38.25.

Has anyone benefited from the credit crunch?
Companies benefiting from the credit crunch are fast food restaurants, shoe repairers, budget supermarkets, cinemas, video shops and maternity retailers.

Is that 20p own brand lager any good? Times are tight!
At that price, you can't knock it, even if the lager does eat away at your teeth, give you a screaming headache and make you dance like John Sergeant.