1. A*P*E (1976)
Clearly made on the cheap to cash-in on Dino De Laurentiis' equally duff mega-budget remake of King Kong, this US/Korean 3D co-production features a man in a rather tatty looking monkey suit fighting a giant Great White shark, throwing a rubber snake at the audience, trampling around a model city and then kidnapping an American actress before being killed by the military. And if you're wondering, the acronym apparently stands for Attacking Primate Monster.
2. Amityville 3-D (1983)
The early '80s saw a new wave of 3D films, spearheaded in large part by a trio of high-profile
horror sequels – all of which were bloody awful.
But while Jaws 3D and Friday the 13th: Part III have the occasional saving grace (be it an exploding shark or machete between the legs), it's impossible to find a single good thing to say about this ill-conceived Amityville sequel whose poster, rather aptly, promised "In this movie you are the victim".
3. Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn (1983)
Low-budget exploitation specialist Charles 'Puppet Master' Band directed this lame sci-fi actioner following a space ranger in search of intergalactic criminal Jared-Syn.
While the 3D effects are occasionally pretty good, the story itself is a complete dud and the title makes no sense considering that (spoiler warning) Jared-Syn gets away at the end, making this categorically not his 'Destruction'.
4. Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)
When New Line Cinema decided to kill of its popular horror cash cow once and for all (yeah, right) the best it could come up with was an appallingly jokey send-off capped by a whopping 10 whole minutes of 3D.
The decision to implement the wearing of 3D specs into the film itself was fairly novel, but had little effect on many audiences who didn't realise that you weren't supposed to wear them throughout the entire film.
5. Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009)
What could possibly be worse than watching the inexplicably popular, Evangelical Christian pop-rock trio on the big screen?
How about having them jump out of it, thrusting their guitars and perfectly styled hair in your face while they leap about on stage, or ripping-off A Hard Day's Night as they flee from screaming fans after their virginity in some off-stage antics? Make it stop.
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Liked this? Then check out The Complete Guide to 3DTV
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