Spot the odd-one out! Google Buzz, Google Wave, Orkut, Google Profile, Jaiku, Google Friend Connect, Dodgeball and, last but not least, Google+.
That's right, they're all completely fizzled-out attempts by Google to make any traction in the social web. Except for Google+, which we're absolutely positive will be the exception to the rule, and not simply the 56,604th new service that Google launches to change the world and then instantly gets bored of.
You can check out TechRadar's first look video of Google+ right here:
As far as we can tell, the main features are:
Circles! The perfect way to virtually ostracise your friends by dragging and dropping them from "Best Mates" to "Bastards" as they dodge their round at the pub or walk off with the pretty girl they knew you had your eye on.
Hangouts! Using Google's revolutionary new social video technology, attractive young people will be on hand to laugh in your face 24/7. Humiliation that once took accidentally singing karaoke with your flies open to achieve is now yours on demand.
Instant Upload! The ultimate creepy-person photography tool. "I'm sorry, Officer," you can grin. "That dog's arse belongs to the internet now..."
Sparks! The best way to pretend to be social while really ignoring everyone around you since people started opening Facebook in a private tab.
Huddle! Why 'text' friends when you can invite everyone into a group chat, then have to text more people when others want Bob and Freda to come along, and phone Phil because his 3G connection is being crap, and get someone to find Janice who doesn't have a smartphone with a data plan? It's just common sense!
And if you think we're being worryingly unsocial here, check out the official Google+ videos, in which the world's slowest computer user agonises over whether his new friend is worth the effort of dragging and dropping onto one circle rather than another, a girl enthuses over Hangouts because boredom can be awesome, and the Sparks guy effectively describes friends as the people who'll tolerate you geeking out at them about random crap they don't care about.
Friendship. It's Serious Business
A very limited number of Invites are already slinging around the internet at the speed of Twitter hashtag contests. If you plan to sign up, though, save the clicks if you're using a Google Apps account hooked into services such as Reader. Google+ requires Google Profiles to work, which isn't supported yet.
If you want something new to play around with right now, though, Chromebooks - laptops built around the web browser - are finally putting in an appearance.
If you're planning to buy one, perhaps the Samsung Chromebook Series 5, don't forget to check our full article covering everything you need to know about Chromebooks first. And of course, make sure your Wi-Fi router is primed.
Liked this? Then check out Google+: everything you need to know
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