Ahh, Tuesday. It's the calm before the iPad HD storm, so we've unshackled Marc from his desk and sent him off on a jolly. But it's okay, the rest of us have skimmed milk, questionable sweets and a jaffa cake between us to keep us going until his return.
Meanwhile, we've got shrinking cars and music news galore to keep you entertained, not to mention a pole dancing robot and an iPad watch to make you despair for humanity.
Pole dancing robot – That's all you need to know, really. If this does it for you, you'll want to hop a plane to CeBIT and see it in the, well, not the flesh but you know what we mean. [Wired]
Cutting the apron strings ville – The great Zynga/Facebook disengage has begun, despite the two companies being embroiled in a multi-year contract together. Zynga has opened an "online playground" for people to play its –Ville suffixed games without Zuckerberg peering over their shoulders. Castleville, Words with Friends, Cityville, Hidden Chronicles and Zynga Poker are the first five to disconnect, with more to come. [Zynga]
Muzak news - Spotify's been in touch to let us know what the 10 biggest cities in the UK have been listening to. Mainly David Guetta, Olly Murs, Jessie J and Gotye, by the looks of things. At least we can take solace in the fact that London retains a hint of cool – it was the only city where One Direction's Gotta Be You didn't chart in the top 100 tracks. Good work, London. [PR]
Worse muzak news – Hey, why not spend the best part of £1,000 on an iPhone and an iPad and then put them together to create a digital ukelele? What's that? Because it'd be the most ridiculous thing you ever heard? And you can get a ukelele for £15? GOOD POINTS. [BoingBoing]
And now for some good music news – Undeniably cool indie rock noise band HEALTH are writing the in-game score and some exclusive songs for Max Payne 3. Now's the part where you wonder who HEALTH are: never fear, we've done the hard work for you: Wikipedia. Spotify. Now go in peace and pretend you knew about them all along. [Thisisfakediy]
"LOL" – Ever wanted to make your iPad into a watch? No? Don't worry about this Wallee Hand Strap then. [StudioProper]
Google has wind – Big uncle Goog is investing heavily in wind. Rather than stocking up on baked beans, it's funding wind farms to the tune of $295 million. The sun is still teacher's power creation pet though, with Google's spend on solar projects coming in at more than twice that - $622 million, in fact, generating 3 million kwh of energy from solar panels. Bunch of hippies. [Business Week]
Two by two – Forget the zebras and the lions and the chimps and the squirrels, it's books and movies that we'll need to take aboard Noah's modern day ark (to keep us entertained if nothing else). Enter Brewster Kahle who wants to save a copy of every physical text in case of digital disaster – like if someone accidentally unplugs the internet or Die Hard 4 comes true. [NYT]
Insert women drivers joke here – Scientists have developed a car that can be shrunk by 50cm to fit into teensy parking spaces. Boy racers need not apply – this bad boy tops out at 35 mph. [PhysOrg]
Votes for Women – You may think tech shows like MWC are full of all that is good and pure in the world, but Russian firm CBOSS has been rumbled for its seedy dealings at the show. CBOSS has been luring high flying execs to its stand with the promise of scantily clad ladies and a competition to win "dinner" with one, promising that "personal preferences of both interviewer and interviewee will be accommodated." Jokes on CBOSS though: it's been banned from MWC 2013 as a result. [GSMA]
Bonus tech video of the day – Here's the trailer for Assassin's Creed 3 with commentary from the lovely Lucy. Enjoy.