Cosy up to Marilyn Monroe, as long as you're properly dead

If you have an extremely understanding wife or are just resigned to eventually dying alone, why not enjoy yourself resting for all eternity next to last-gen sex siren Marilyn Monroe?

A very hopeful eBayer is selling her husband's burial spot in the same crypt as Monroe, meaning the winning bidder gets to lie on top of the formerly curvaceous famous body - and there's nothing the screen siren can do to stop you.

The listing is up on eBay right now, with bidding currently at an astonishing $4.5m. The body of the grave's current occupant, Richard Poncher, will be shifted out so you can move your stuff in, but even then you won't have Marilyn all to yourself - dressing-gowned sex lizard Hugh Hefner has already bought the tomb next door to Monroe with an eye on enjoying a fiddle for all eternity.

Marilyn munroe

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The above story got us thinking. Not about death or conspiracy theories or anything that dull, but about gadgets for dead people. Are there any?

Of course there are. Inventor Robert Barrows has been making people feel a bit ill on the internet with his Video Enhanced Gravemaker concept piece for quite some time.

His idea is that if you were particularly full of yourself in life you may now carry on braying about your achievements in video form from beyond the grave, via an embedded video screen in the tombstone itself. Your fans will also be able to record messages about how great you were, via the built-in camera.

Mr Barrows is seeking manufacturing partners to help fund his idea. We think there's a good chance he'll die of old age before that happens.

Video-enhanced grave

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If you suffer from the age-old fear of being buried alive, what you need to request from the very understanding man at the funeral parlour is a modern remake of the Safety Coffin. Numerous styles used to exist, all designed to let the buried person communicate with the outside world - usually by ringing a bell - should they wake up six feet underground as the victim of some terrible administrative mix-up.

You won't get a mobile signal down there, so it's your best bet. You should also take a book, as once your phone battery's dead it'll get very, very boring.

Safety coffin

REST IN SAFETY: At least you don't have to pay council tax

And finally, if you're planning on stretching out your time on the planet for as long as possible, why not pick yourself up a Welch Allyn AED 10 Defibrillator Portable Quick Response Kit - your guarantee of many more productive hours spent staring emotionlessly at the internet before you go.

Weird tech

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The heart jump-starter's tech specs boast a "large internal memory" - although it doesn't say what media formats that screen will play back.