Huge astrological rocks thrown at Brian Cox

Brian Cox
If they said he wore stupid t-shirts meant for ladies we'd be on their side

The lovely Brian Cox, the sixth member of Take That and everyone's favourite boffin after Stephen Hawking and Patrick Moore, has come under fire from astrology practitioners after daring to criticise their way of predicting what's going to happen to you this afternoon by measuring what part of the sky Venus is going to be in.

The furious sky-fearing astrologers at Equinox Astrology have started up a Facebook group aimed at shaming Brian and the BBC, after Cox put forward the admittedly rather non-scientific claim that "astrology is a load of rubbish" in an episode of his Wonders of the Solar System telly show.

The astrologists say over 200 of their number have so far complained to the BBC about Cox's slagging of their magical art, pointing out that Brian has not yet carried out any research into astrology or "explored his birth chart". But that was always going to happen - Brian was born on March 8, making him a typical carefree Piscean.

Big Brother Series IV contestant spotted in Mr Topper's

An iPhone app going by the name of CelebAround ought to have what passes as today's modern celebrities in fear of their lives - it lets common people like us stalk them around the country, charting and uploading their whereabouts - LIVE! - via iPhone. It'll all be fun and games, until one of the Hollyoaks cast gets kidnapped.


BE CAREFUL OUT THERE: The Cheeky Girls are regularly spotted outside our Baker Street offices, if you want a head-start

The idea of known celeb-botherers Matrix Photo, the app features a 'Nearby' tab for ogling live shots of that one out of that thing on ITV2 which was cancelled eyeing up trousers in Selfridges, plus the option to upload your own hastily snapped shots of anyone you see on the streets who you think might've once been famous but now can't afford to get taxis everywhere any more.

Cybernetic onanism

Meet Geminoid F. You can call her Gemma for short. Or you can call her whatever you like, really, by simply modifying the relevant entry in her codebase to have her respond to Margaret, or Nigel, or Mike if you want her to - because she is a robot.

LADY-BOTS: Basically you could hide her in a cupboard until she's needed, which is what early adopters have been waiting for in a lady robot

According to Pink Tentacle, the new evolution of the lovely rubbery lady has been slimmed down from the previous bulkier Geminoid HI-1 model made by the Intelligent Robotics Laboratory, meaning all her robotic pieces are now fully contained within her torso - so she doesn't need to lug an embarrassingly bulky trailer full of pumps and cabling around with her in order to stay alive.


One of the many things THEY keep promising but failing to deliver has been promised once again this week, with car maker Volvo wheeling out the old "driverless cars" boast for its usual annual bout of mild interest.

According to latest developments by Volvo reported in the New Scientist, drivers will be able to "take their hands off the wheel completely" by the year 2020, with the cars on then hopefully having evolved clever enough auto-pilot facilities to let us rummage around in the glove compartment for that bag of chocolate eclairs in safety.

To be fair, drivers can already take their hands off the wheel completely if they like - it's a very enjoyable little game to help spice up dull motorway journeys. You can also try seeing how long you can drive with your eyes closed, steering with your feet, or have a go at swapping seats with the wife while on the move. They invalidate your manufacturer's warranty, though, so be careful.