For the wolf - Confused by the yoof's texting vernacular? Still think LOL means lots of love? Then you need this patronising new Android app called TextGenie, and a time machine to 1997 when it would have been useful. [Google Play]
Might as well set up a Mars bar – Nasa has decided to go back to Mars again in 2016, even though its Curiosity rover is already there. The next mission to Mars will be to find out more about the planet's insides which will help the clever clogs at Nasa work out how rocky planets formed. [BBC]
Bustin' makes me feel good – Over at the tech retirement home, these eight floppy drives are keeping everyone entertained with an excellent rendition of the Ghostbusters theme tune. Who you gonna call? [Vulture]
Born again - Meanwhile at the tech graveyard, CDs and DVDs are being given a new lease of life as Fujitsu computers. Aww, it's just like Wall-E. Kind of. [Gizmag]
Past it – If you want to feel incredibly vulnerable and afraid, have a read of this fascinating editorial on how and why passwords are so weak these days and how to pick a stronger one. (Spoiler alert: you can't, just pick different passwords for different sites.) [Ars Technica]
Not so Ace - Oh Kiefer Sutherland, we thought you were cool. Cupcakes are so passé. [Acer]
Makes sense - Samsung has signed up the most distracted man in showbiz to help it showcase the multitasking powers of the Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1. Yes, that's James Franco, who can't decide whether he's an actor or a writer or a director or a speaker or a dancer or a poet or a paid schill or an amateur doctor or an academic or a presenter or a musician or just annoying. [YouTube]
American Idiots - Ugh, celebrity tie-ins are like buses that you don't particularly want to arrive. The third to pull up to the tech stop today is Green Day with their new Angry Birds game in which the demi-punks pose as evil pigs because the pigs are green and they're called Green Day - see what they did there? [Digital Trends]
Meaty - Mark Zuckerberg said something on Facebook about iGrill and the resulting traffic crashed the grilling app's website for two hours. Is the inability of your website to handle an influx of traffic something to shout about? Apparently so as iGrill sent us a press release about it specially. [iGrill]
Festival of fools - Festival clean-up teams have the last laugh as GiffGaff's new research shows that around 650,000 phones are lost or damaged at festivals every year, with £14 million worth of credit between them. Let's face it, if you dropped your phone in the portaloo you'd just give it up as a lost cause. Nothing but nothing is worth that. [Giff Gaff]