Welcome to this week's Keitai round-up – this week we make sure your Android device is up to date, the world's best footballer struggles to control a phone and a warning about charging your phone at the theatre.
How to update Android
This week we're showing how to update to the latest version of Android. It's pretty simple, but it may take a little bit of time so make sure not to start this when you're in a rush.
Step 1 – Do you need to update?
This all depends on a bunch of varying factors: what phone are you using? What part of the world are you in? Which network are you on?
Our top tip is to keep an eye on our Android Lollipop update tracker as that's where we will keep you up to date with the latest handsets that are compatible.
Even if you're not updating to Android Lollipop you'll be able to find if you need an update in the 'Settings' section of your phone.
This can vary from phone to phone but you'll always find it under 'Settings', then look for an option called 'Software' or 'About Phone'. Under here you'll find a tab called 'Software updates' or 'check for software update' - hit this and your phone will see if there's an update available for you.
Step 2 – Back it up
If you need to update, it's best to back up your phone at this point. Save all your photos and contacts because there is always the slightest chance this could go a little wrong. You'll find a 'Backup & reset' option in the 'Settings' app, so head there to ensure your stuff is safe.
Step 3 – Get the update
To update you just need to press the update button and wait for it to download and install. If you're on limited internet or haven't got the best connection we'd recommend waiting until you return to a Wi-Fi connection to do it.
It's going to be a chunky update taking up a little storage and eating those precious megabytes, especially if you haven't updated for quite a while. You'll also want to be near a power socket, as you don't want your device running out of juice part way through.
Step 4 – Get to know the new features
Once you've installed it, your phone will reboot and you'll be ready to rock 'n' roll. Enjoy your new software. Have a look around at all the news features you've just adopted and be sure to make good use of them.
Time to shine
Winston sank down onto the floor, hooves covering his face. This was just getting ridiculous - he'd been to hell and back three or four times in the past week, and all because he'd wanted to have a BlackBerry with a touchscreen that clicked in.
He stood up, stared at the hippo menacingly for a few seconds, then galloped out of the room. He found himself in a dingy dark corridor, lights flickering long enough to illuminate the dark and filthy walls. Usually he'd panic about such things, scared of the unknown that faced him, but he couldn't carry on this world of confusion.
He charged down the narrow hall, praying to find a way out. 30 seconds later he skidded to a halt, arriving at a door that seemed to shimmer lightly around the edge. He stopped, plucked up his courage and opened it up.
"What do you mean you can't find him? He must be found! This cannot happen without him here!" said the gruff voice quietly, his chair firmly swung away from the collected group in his office.
"He...erm,.... he was picked up by Les Animaux. They were able to disable our suction."
The chair swung around, the hooded figure glowering at the assembled group, his eyes fiery beneath the shroud. "YOU PROMISED ME IT COULD NOT FAIL."
The scientist gulped. "Someone stole the schematics..." he began, before a large ashtray hit him in the head, knocking him to the floor.
"SILENCE!" The figure stood up quickly, casting his robe to the floor. Those left conscious in the room were forced to shield their eyes from the light - the being was brighter than anything they'd seen before.
"Get out of my way," he said, brushing past the group. "I'll get this done myself."
Winston gasped when he saw what was below. A cloudy fog belched beneath his feet, pollution rising up everywhere Winston could see.
He slowly walked backwards, praying he could find another way out. He pushed up against a door, that fell away behind him. He tumbled in, slightly dazed, before he could understand what he was seeing.
Row upon row of BlackBerry devices lined the walls all around, sparkling somehow from an unseen light. He could scarcely believe it - this was the room he'd dreamed about! It was real!
He slowly trotted up and grabbed the nearest box. A Bold 9900 fell out into his hoof, pristine and powered up. He started manically grabbing at anything he could find before, finally, he came upon it: A BlackBerry Storm 2.
He wrenched it from the box, sprinted from the room and threw himself into the fog.
Charging the stage
Jumping onto the stage before a play begins to charge your phone isn't the best idea. To begin with, you should have your phone turned off during the play, so there's no need to charge it during the show.
There's also the fact that as a member of the audience, you're not allowed on the stage, and climbing up there will get your promptly thrown out.
Finally, that power outlet that's part of the scenery? It's probably fake. The magic of theatre!
Scary press shot of the week
He may be a world class footballer, but Lionel Messi isn't so impressive when it comes to smartphones.
His first mistake was getting WeChat - the only person he knows on it is his grandma, and she talks FOR HOURS.
Secondly, he's not too hot on using the phone either. In fact, he's not even sure if he should look at the screen. Something about a demon stealing your soul.
Retro video of the week
The words "humour" and "Microsoft" go together as well as "cheese" and "petrol", but bless the Redmond company if it doesn't try! Here's an ageing Lumia 920 advert that shows the 'hilarious' consequences of inviting Apple and Android fanboys to a wedding that Game of Thrones fans would describe as "quite peaceful really".
Ignoring the fact that the advert seems to imply that there's no one passionate about Windows Phones, marvel as Microsoft makes fun of Apple users relying on voice-activated virtual assistant Siri (of course, Microsoft's voice-activated virtual assistant Siri Cortana is completely different), or as it pokes fun at Samsung owners using over-sized devices (as Microsoft would never release a phablet...*cough* Nokia Lumia 1320 *cough*).
Perhaps the best part of the advert is when someone shouts "Is there an app for that?" after throwing a punch, because the lack of apps on Windows Phone is definitely a selling point.