There's a small chance you might get transformed into a superhero the next time you take an EasyJet flight to some remote European airport terminal for a stress-filled weekend of travel misery.
The theory has been given life by scientists who've discovered plane passengers may get zapped with "gamma-ray" radiation during flights in stormy conditions.
According to LiveScience, if flight 3063 from London Stansted to Prague happens to be very near the source of a lightning bolt, passengers could find themselves exposed to radiation equivalent to 400 chest x-rays in one burst.
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That's easily enough radiation to fuse your DNA with the DNA of the sedated chihuahua in the cargo hold and the DNA of the pork pie you sneaked on-board to avoid having to pay in-flight prices.
THREE STRIKES RULE: The chicken and pork meals fused together, creating a new universally popular meat they call "chork" [Image credit: Flickr]
Joe Dwyer, Professor of Physics and Space Sciences at a Florida university, says not to worry, though, and that these close strikes are "very rare". There's also a chance this is another bit of negative PR being put about by the environmentalist lobby. Just like that other loony lie about the planet getting warmer. They just want a whole row to themselves next time they get a flight.
Joke submission APPROVED
A major corporation has made a joke! The corporation in question is Epson - the joke it has made is to create a parody of an "Extreme Gamer" figure to promote one of its HD Ready projectors as being ideal for people who are into videogames.
The joke video discovered by The Reg shows a man making a bit of an arse of himself in public places with his huge portable gaming kit, which includes a PS3 and an Epson projector strapped to his body for the ultimate in... pretending.
MODERN PROJECT: The hot pink background of the product page is also a brave move. Times are a-changing at Epson
Presumably this was initially planned to "go live" last April Fool's Day, but nervous Epson management has taken this long to approve the idea for release.
One of their dinosaurs is missing
What's the biggest thing you've ever stolen? A fizzy cola bottle from Woolworths that seemed fun at the time but, with the benefit of hindsight, actually contributed in some small way to the collapse of the entire retail chain and the loss of thousands of jobs? A Mars bar? A magazine? A library book?
Chances are you're not "big time" enough to have been responsible for this week's most amazing crime - in which a £55,000 animatronic dinosaur went missing. The 1.5m tall robot was part of the live Walking with Dinosaurs stage show, which had just opened in Mexico.
WALKING OFF WITH DINOSAURS: Beats getting home with a traffic cone and a pocket full of complementary salt sachets [Image credit: Walking with Dinosaurs Show]
It was found to be missing during a post-show headcount in the backstage robotic dinosaur enclosure, although "everything went on as usual" the next day according to spokesman Karla Arroyo.
We've become rather used to possible alien activity being captured by 2001-spec mobile phones in grainy 20 pixel block-o-vision, so some staggeringly sharp shots of a "space spiral" complete with aquamarine "death-ray" emanating from its core in the sky above Norway came as something of a pleasant surprise to fans of unsubstantiated claims of alien visitation.
The Daily Mail has some high-resolution images of the atmospheric anomaly, which has been explained as a Russian rocket fuel accident - even though the Russians are saying it's nothing to do with them. If it is aliens, we'd better strike soon while they're still dizzy.