So long and thanks for all the vegetating - Today we bid a sad farewell to a man we owe much to: Eugene Polley invented the television remote in 1955, with the thoroughly excellent name Flash-Matic. He died earlier this week at the age of 96. Without him, we could never have slobbed out on the sofa watching Friends re-runs so effectively and we'd be down a Beastie Boys song. [BBC]

Maleficent - The last thing you expect when you board something as wonderful-sounding as the Disney Wonder Cruise is for one of the staff to nick your iPhone, but apparently that's what happened to Katy McCaffrey. Unlucky for Nelson, the alleged perp, the iPhone is set to automatically upload photos to Facebook. Katy's Facebook. Where she has collated them into a public album for us all to enjoy. Nelson, Nelson, Nelson. What would Mickey Mouse say? [The Verge]

Yo Majesty - You know when you go to a family wedding and your weird uncle gets drunk and tries to get crunk on the dance floor then hits on your girlfriend and starts a fight with the father of the groom? We really wanted this video of Prince Charles trying to DJ to be worse than that, but it's actually quite sweet. Aww. One day this man will be our king. [Guardian]

Zzzap - How to make gardening interesting? LASERS. [Stuff]

Dodo - Funeral resource guide Funeralwise is trying to drum up business with this interesting-ish fact: Spartacus Vengeance is the deadliest of deadly TV shows. An average of 25 people are shuffled off the mortal coil in each episode, more than any other average in the 40 shows analysed. By 'analysed', we assume they mean 'watched back-to-back'. Bet that wasn't quite what the work experience kid was expecting. [Hollywood Reporter]

This seems like a valuable use of resources – The MPAA is really not letting this whole piracy thing go. Now it has used a Dutch spy (codenamed Roger Van Veen), a PI, a US double agent and all sorts of other shenanigans to snare a British couple who allegedly ran streaming links site SurfTheChannel. Read the whole ridiculous story at the source. It's a peach. [TorrentFreak]

Chips - No-stick ketchup bottle has just… we… just… but… no words. We have no words. [Co.EXIST]

Ketchup

Kim Dotcom update – Kim's getting feisty, refusing to relinquish passwords to any of his machines until the defense are given access to 135 of his computers that were seized in the raid on the Megaupload founder's home. A raid, incidentally, that Dotcom maintains was "unfair and over the top". [TorrentFreak]

Go for gold - If you continue to be interested in a) FourSquare and b) The Olympics then you'll be pleased to hear that you can now check in to Olympic venues and training grounds around the world on FourSquare, with the idea being that you unlock an Olympics badge (should've been a medal) to be in with a chance of winning a trip to the London Games. [Telegraph]

Digital times - Remember when Digitimes was wrong about Apple rumours a lot? It's going to try harder from now on, it promises. [Time]