Flying in the face of everything that's good and lovely about the world, Facebook has hit the 500 million user mark - and it's so popular Hollywood is making a movie, The Social Network, about it.
You may have heard about it, partly because there's a trailer for it before showings of Inception and partly because every time you mention social networking online right now someone from a street team pops up and says "OMG THE SOCIAL NETWORK TRAILER IS AWESOME".
Unless reviews talk about The Social Network's Seven-style horrors it's safe to say we probably won't be going to see it, but it's got us wondering: what would the film versions of other sites and services be like?
With a cast of 140 characters including Stephen Fry, Stephen Fry and Stephen Fry, the Twitter movie is bound to be a success - but will the projectors be able to stay working for an entire showing? No!
Two and a half hours of adverts and pictures of kittens punctuated at random intervals by a man screaming "WE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! WE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!"
Written, directed and acted entirely by volunteers, the Wikipedia movie is an incomprehensible pile of old tosh featuring bearded men arguing.
Written, directed and acted entirely by volunteers, the Wikipedia movie is the best film ever made [edited by WikiMan 10:47 22 July 2010].
Filmed in Super Squinty Vision, The MySpace Movie follows a bunch of emo kids, the odd high school bomber and a few registered sex offenders as they discover that life, like, is soooooo unfair. The plot? There's no plot. MySpace lost that years ago.
Shit my dad says
Fictionalised biography of a man whose dad doesn't care what anyone thinks. Starring Prince Harry.
Filmed on a single camera in a grubby basement, a chubby man with stupid hair shouts "Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!" in increasingly silly voices for eight hours before Will.I.Am gives him a good slapping.
It's a cat, on a skateboard, and the skateboard is on fire, and the cat is on fire, and like how did they do that? That's totally awesome! Running time: three seconds.
Someone makes a blogger an offer he can't refuse: Steve Jobs' lunchtime sandwich, so fresh that the edges haven't started to curl yet. Can he post pics of it online before SWAT teams, the Marines and the Girl Guides kick down his door and kick him in the face?
Who is Babby, and how is he formed? Also, how girl get pragnent? You've seen Inception. Now, discover the secrets of conception!
Nail-biting thriller directed by Michael eBay and featuring a mobile phone, a mysterious bidder and the entire population of Nigeria. Can our hero sell his smartphone to a reputable seller? Features gratuitous slow-mo and unnecessary explosions.
Stuff White People Like
Starring Mel Gibson.
The most recent cringe-worthy Facebook movie trailer is below.
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Writer, broadcaster, musician and kitchen gadget obsessive Carrie Marshall (Twitter) has been writing about tech since 1998, contributing sage advice and odd opinions to all kinds of magazines and websites as well as writing more than a dozen books. Her memoir, Carrie Kills A Man, is on sale now. She is the singer in Glaswegian rock band HAVR.