Storing inane thoughts is a basic human right

Madeley
Oh, Richard. No, Creme Eggs are the same size they've always been

If you think your witty observations about the minutiae of modern life deserve to be read by more people than the 56 porn spambots and three work colleagues currently following your Twitter feed, concern yourself no longer.

The American Library of Congress is planning to archive every single Tweet ever fired off in boredom.

Even the ones about sandwiches and what your dog looks like it might be thinking about.

The Library of Congress announced the plan on its blog this week, pointing out that "Every public tweet, ever, since Twitter's inception in March 2006, will be archived digitally at the Library of Congress".

Twitter

REMEMBER THIS DAY: T'was the day upon which Jack did announce his walk

Obviously it includes the important ones from important people in which they announced important events (has this ever actually happened?), but also all of yours will be archived, even the ones in which you subtly hint about wishing you'd gone for the egg mayo rather than the BLT.

Our unsatisfactory lives will live on, long after our children have Tweeted the details of our funeral arrangements.

Made Man

The above development means that even the ground-breaking tedious observations of Richard Madeley will be recorded for future generations to be a bit puzzled by.

These included Thursday's series of ultra-bizarre gems from the TV presenter - in which he carried out a bit of investigation into whether the ash from the Icelandic volcano would equally impact upon the safety of propeller-driven aircraft as well as the more modern jets.

It turns out that propellers are indeed hindered by volcano ash, much to Richard's fascination. Poor Judy. At least she gets a bit more peace these days now Richard is off bothering people on the internet.

250 pumps-per-minute (MAX)

Have you ever sat there, on the internet, longing for the comforting sensation of human touch to warm your cold mouse hand and pat you on the back when you start choking on the tears and biscuits?

Well help could, in a very stretched and limited way, be on hand in the form of the latest robotic touching development from the Chinese University of Hong Kong.

The Daily Mail reports that the new 'Cyber-Hand', which is, believe it or not, due to go on sale later this year, is capable of communicating simple hand gestures through the internet. Which could come in useful in numerous undocumented scenarios.

"We are talking to a manufacturer about designing a more human-like hand from silicon rubber which we hope to have within the next month" said maker Professor Liu Yunhui, subtly acknowledging the real, underground uses the device will be set to work on as soon as the first owners have torn it out of its discreet packaging.

"Oh, and just one last thing..."

Murder on Beacon Hill is an odd combination of film, travel documentary and iPhone app, that takes users around the Boston area while filling them in on the background details of a murder that took place in the 1800s.

Murder

KILLER APP: Will audience members please refrain from live-Tweeting the proceedings

The app/film has been such a sensation in arthouse circles that it's being shown this Sunday as part of the Boston International Film Festival, in what we suspect will be the single most pretentious event to have ever taken place.

It is "the first location-based application to screen at a film festival" according to the event organisers, and if you're too busy with touring commitments to make it to Boston, it's up on the App Store right now.

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