What's more wanted than the boss of Wikileaks and more fun than burning an effigy of Nick Clegg when you're supposed to be studying? That's right: this week's Weird Tech!
This editions features internet shoes, touchy-feely tables, alarming adult products and strange behaviour in Germany.
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who don't want Facebook on their feet and, well, crazy people. So it's good news for the latter camp: limited edition Adidas Facebook Superstars.
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Microsoft gets touchy
The internet's very excited about a new Microsoft patent: a touch-screen that you can actually feel. Instead of today's featureless glass slabs, Microsoft proposes using a layer of plastic that can change shape when ultraviolet light hits it.
ERRRR: We're told that the finished version will look a bit more impressive than this
Virtual keyboards could feel like real keys, products could be prodded and – you know this gag's coming – you really could poke people on Facebook. New Scientist has the details.
Toys for the boys
The days when vibrators had to be advertised as devices promoting "vigour, strength and beauty" are long gone, and adult toys are big business – for the girls, anyway.
INTERESTING: No, it's not a toy car. It's a toy of a very different kind. Hot Wheels eat your heart out
Next step? Toys for men. AFP describes a range of new intimate products designed for the hairier sex, with highlights including the Cobra Libre. If you've ever wanted to have sex with something that looks like a toy car, now you can.
Big Trak's on your back
While we're on the subject of personal massagers, what could be more relaxing than having something resembling '80s robot tank Big Trak rolling around your body? Nothing, hope DreamBots, whose WheeMe's "four small wheels and the rotor finger gently press and caress providing a delightful sense of bodily pleasure".
By happy coincidence, it looks as if someone took the aforementioned Cobra Libre and glued wheels to it. In any case, the models in the product videos couldn't look much less comfortable if the WheeMes were being nailed to them. The WheeMe is yours for just 49 dollars, and it ships in spring.
Germany's Google gangs
To Germany, where some people take Google Street View far too seriously. Pro-Google vigilantes are throwing eggs at the homes of people whose houses have been blurred on Street View. "Google's cool," read the notes left on the unfortunate householders' mailboxes.
HAPPY EGGS: "Street View? What's Street View? The eggs would find out soon enough" [Image credit: Themonnie on Flickr]
As Danny Sullivan of Search Engine Watch explains, while there are two separate news reports of such tomfoolery "neither gives the exact number of homes involved nor are pictures of the eggings posted." Are these a few isolated incidents, or is the entire country at it? If you're German or in Germany, do let us know.