It's back to normal in the One More Thing camp today, after yesterday's team effort. Don't worry, we won't let John back until he apologises for that Siri pun. But enough living in the past, what's going on today?
Well, we'll tell you. Apple's lawyers are (probably) sharpening their talons as news of a Steve Jobs plush toy trickles across the web, while Manchester United's lawmen aren't far behind with Google Play in their sights.
Out of the courtroom, we're consistently not shocked by the FBI's inability to unlock a phone nor by the research that found we all want thinner phones with bigger screens. You don't say.
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iCEO - It should be quite clear to anyone with half a brain that the world really does not require a Steve Jobs plush toy - and yet, like the bike with a tablet holder, it exists. What are you going to do with little Steve? Cuddle him as you settle down to read his biography while swigging from your free energy drink you got while queuing for a week to buy the new iPad on which you're now reading? IS THAT WHAT JOBS WOULD WANT? Er, yeah maybe actually. Okay, whatever. Ten percent of the $60 price goes to charity. Fill your boots. [Throwboy]
Trolls trolled - Hack collective Anonymous appeared to have set up its own Linux-based OS to make it easier to indulge in the shadier aspects of its hacktivism activity, but then one of its Twitter accounts tweeted that "the Anon OS is fake it is wrapped in trojans" so perhaps it didn't. But then isn't that exactly what you'd say to stop Joe Public using your secret hacking OS? [The Verge]
Screen test - The FBI's had its braintrust working round the clock to try and crack a phone's Android pattern-lock as part of its investigation into a San Diego prostitution ring. Presumably the attempts included randomly swiping and stabbing at the screen and yet all that has failed. Score one for the law-breaking nerds (until the Bureau gets a warrant to have Google hand over the info, that is). [Wired]
Trap door - This one time we were watching Neighbours and this Australian band Temper Trap was mentioned and, we think, even played in Harold's cafe, so presumably they're a pretty hot property. Good news for Spotify subscribers, then - you can check out a track called 'Rabbit Hole' from Temper Trap's new album which isn't out until May. [PR]
Sonorous - Sonos is about to crack out an update to its desktop software, which should be welcome news to anyone who has ever used its desktop software. It's getting a new look, improved interface and easier playlisting. It works with the excellent Play 3 and Play 5 multi-room wireless music systems which are definitely worth a look if you're in the market for some wireless music action. [PR]
Wispa campaign - Now here's a Google+ page we can get on board with - Cadbury's recreated its profile in chocolate form when it hit 500,000 G+ followers because apparently that seemed like a good idea for some reason we can't be bothered to fathom. Probably something to do with getting you to buy more chocolate. Actually, we could go a Dairy Milk... [Electric Pig]
Racing pigeons - Angry Birds' world domination plans continue apace. Rovio has decided to sponsor Heikki Kovalainen who is a Formula One driver apparently, so he'll be wearing an Angry Birds branded helmet as he races his extremely fast, incredibly expensive car around the same circuit eighty seven times in a row to see if he can do it the fastest. You too can get involved - co-branded merch will be released later this spring, as well as the now-obligatory themed Angry Birds racing levels. [Heikki Kovalainen]
Deviled eggs - Diablo 3 has a release date at last. It's 15 May. So if we tell you to go to hell that day, it's probably not because we hate you. [PR]
Not so united - Manchester United - now there's a football club that's always been entirely reasonable and never once made any decisions in the interest of profiteering rather than furthering the beautiful game. So it's unusual to hear that the club is being heavy handed with Google and insisting that Google Play ditch any app using its official logo without permission (read: paying for it). Google probably won't delete the apps without a proper court order though, so those lovely club wallpapers will likely be around for a while yet. [paidContent]
Shock findings - Apparently we all want thinner, bigger-screened phones. Thank goodness Strategy Analytics was on hand to figure that out for us. [All Things D]
Bonus "tech" video of the day - here's a man dancing awkwardly at the Star Wars Kinect launch. He's not a patch on our own Gareth Beavis, dance master.