We bet you thought Wii accessories couldn't get any more stupid, didn't you? Oh, silly you! How about this one, the inflatable Race Kart for Wii, created by third-party peripheral maker CTA Digital? Is it stupid enough for you? Does it make you question the direction human evolution has taken over the last million years to lead us all to this very bad place at this precise moment in time?

It is indeed what the name suggests, a full-sized, blow-up go-kart large enough to contain a child or a limp and inebriated adult, with a hard plastic steering wheel in the "dashboard" to house the Wii Remote and Mario Kart Wii's bonkers steering wheel attachment. It's actually on sale right now, believe it or not, with spoilt US brats able to whinge enough until they get bought one - in exchange for around $40.

Metallic-ish

There's a comment beneath the listing of Slayer Pinball Rocks HD in the App Store from a user who says "I like Slayer and pinball. What else is there to say?" - not much at all, to be honest. We could try adding that the pinball game endorsed by the famed metal band has launched this week, offering a band-themed reskin of the very popular Pinball HD app, but that is indeed about all that can be said.

slayer_pinball_hd

NEXT WEEK: Iron Maiden Sudoku

According to Wired UK, it features lyrics from the band's newest album World Painted Blood as well as chunks of voice spoken by band members. So if you've ever wondered if any members of Slayer speak with a lisp, do that pointy thing metal fans do with your fingers and give it a go.

Kick tyres, check if radio works

If you're going through that inevitable part of your life when you start to think about maybe buying a Volkswagen Golf GTi to put a bit of spark back into your soulless commutes between home, work and the shops, help's at hand. On the omnipresent device of today.

veloce_golf_guide

BEFORE YOU BUY: Dairy Milk wrappers in the glove box - confirmation of a careful previous lady owner

The iPhone Essential Buyer's Guide to the Golf GTi, from Veloce Publishing, tells you all about every model of GTi Golf produced between 1976 and 1992, filling you in on historical interior finishing options, running costs and more before you hand over a large amount of cash to a man identifying himself as the current owner. It costs £2.39 on the App Store. A replacement injection unit for a 1982 GTi will be rather a lot more.

"Any GPS data you trigger may be held against you"

Finally, with the world currently trying to pick holes in Apple's latest version of the iPhone, we have a piece of happy-happy news from the Steve Jobs' unified world of fun. A US citizen had his house burgled by two men, who nicked his iPad. This is not the happy part of the story. However, the owner of the iPad alerted officer Dirk Parsons to the availability of GPS tracking - and the iPad was safely recovered thanks to Apple's precise location data.

All of this sounds like a ridiculous publicity story dreamed up during a coffee-fuelled brainstorming session to come up with possible new advert ideas in Apple's HQ - but it's being reported as proper news and we have no reason to question the integrity of Dirk Parsons.

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