A Chinese couple are reported to have sold their child to fund the purchase of a mobile phone. The news report didn't say what model of mobile it was or which operating system the phone they bought used, so we can't judge them too harshly.

If they picked up an old mid-range Nokia on a crippling PAYG contract, for example, they were clearly idiots - but an unlocked HTC Hero on a generous monthly tariff in return for the child would've been a much more understandable, and indeed quite fair, swap.

Cheap camera phone

CHILD PROOF: First-born boy - iPhone. Third-born girl - reconditioned Nokia 3300 [Image credit: the internet]

"When I got 2,500 yuan for the baby, I thought I might as well buy the phone I always wanted" the kid's 21-year-old father is quoted as telling authorities, although the poor, misguided couple were themselves ripped off - they sold their one-month-old baby to a trafficker for the equivalent of about £250, who was subsequently busted trying to sell on the kid for a grand.

"Sexting" craze achieves press release keyword status

If you don't want to sell or swap your child for a mobile phone and instead actually care about its well-being and development, Dublin-based tech company VMAD has Bully Stop for your consideration - a tool designed to save your pretty-looking, soft kid from getting bullied by the hard ugly ones.

Of course, it does no such thing. How could a mobile app stop the rough boy from the estate throwing stones at your delicate little Thomas? It can't. Bully Stop is actually a simple blocking tool, which the maker claims can stop kids getting abuse via TXT - even squeezing current teen-shock buzzword "sexting" into its product description to further terrorise parents into handing over money. Yes, money. It's not free. It costs 20 euros.

Bully stop

BULLSEYE: Or simply lock child in loft to avoid costly mobile phone use

Bully Stop is out now for Symbian S60 phones, with the maker promising Android and iPhone versions soon. As if any parent would let a child have, or go anywhere near, an iPhone.

Tea-Mobile

Tea is safer than coffee. If you care about the well-being of your laptop, drink more tea. Tea is responsible for only 3 per cent of laptop fluid spillages, while coffee is implicated in some 40 per cent of liquid incidents.

Those are the findings of repair company Micro Replay, which has compiled a top ten list of the most common fluids found swimming about inside the cases of computers it gets begged to make work again.

Coffee and laptop

WIPED: It's sugar sticking to the contacts that's the real killer [Image credit: (of Jim's chocolate milk) from Flickr]

Either tea drinkers are more coordinated than their caffeinated office rivals, or it's because coffee drinkers insist on buying it in big, flimsy paper cups. And yes, the repair company claimed one per cent of laptop breakages are due to bodily fluids. They didn't say what kind. We'd say it's the imaginary kind.

Genuine Apple Thing, £4, o.n.o.

Ray Charles Kersh and Corey Jermaine Bridges from Jackson, Mississippi, got themselves busted for attempting to sell ring binders. Ring binders they had cunningly disguised to look like 15" Macbook Pros. Their astonishingly stupid plan was to sell customers the extremely pretend Macbooks for a knockdown price of $200 (the Pros retails for around $2k in the US), then to drive off very quickly before the customer could open the "box" and recoil in horror at the contents.

Macbook pro folder

BOGOF: An Apple product for a reasonable price? Must be a scam

This seems to be one of those 'natural selection' situations. The sort of people who would buy a computer from two men in a van without even looking at it are the sort of people who shouldn't be allowed computers, lest they hurt themselves or others. So it would've all worked itself out in the end.

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