Our look into Google's top searches has taken us to some seedy places this week.
The exclusive list which Google hands to us on a gold platter every seven days – well, through email – shows just what Londoners have been searching for online.
It seems that the top results have to do with Wayne Rooney and the problems he is having with his tackle [insert knob-related gag here].
Because of this, his name is the second top search term for London. Jennifer Thompson, the person he allegedly slept with behind Colleen Rooney's back is on top – a position she is probably more than familiar with.
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Rooney is uncomfortably sandwiched between Thompson and Maria Marchese in the top searches.
Surprisingly Marchese is not the other woman in Rooney's alleged ménage a trois but a stalker who was jailed for nine years in 2007 for, well, stalking.
She was the muse for U Be Dead, an ITV drama starring David Morrissey – something which landed at lucky number 7 on the top trend list.
Factor of X
Other search terms include X Factor and Cher Lloyd, a 16-year-old singer who went on X Factor, sung a bit and looked a bit like Cheryl Cole.
This means she will definitely get to the judge's house, only to be told at the last moment she is a little too young for stardom. She'll then cry and you will all lap it up like the sadists you are.
As London was subject to a 24 hour tube strike, the words 'tube, strike and London' were also Googled a lot. We cannot confirm if the phrase 'Bob Crow's head on a stick' was also a popular one, however.
Finally, a number of newspapers made the top trends list. The Sunday Mirror came in at number 8 – as it broke the Rooney-gate story – and the News Of The World is in the list twice.
Actually the actual phrase typed was 'newsoftheworld', which meant the tabloid was Googled in a hurry by people who really, really wanted to know what was going on in last week's cricketing scandal.
For those interested in the full top 20, the list is below:
tube strike london
u be dead
bristol half marathon
this is england
new zealand earthquake