Despite DLP technology heralding a new era of super-compact, ultra-light projectors, HP's Instant Cinema ep9012 is a beast. It looks like a giant turtle with an Apple-esque makeover and weighs so much you wouldn't risk putting it on the ceiling even if you could. Justification comes with the fact that this is no ordinary projector.

Beneath the five acres of white plastic shell the iTurtle houses a 800 x 600 pixel DLP engine, a built-in DVD player, a Dolby Digital amplifier with virtual sound processing and a couple of loudspeakers.

The concept of all-in-one projector systems isn't new. Relisys and Optoma have already beaten HP to it, and three or four new models have also been announced by other manufacturers at the Consumer Electronics Show earlier this year. There is obviously a market to be had.

In the case of the ep9012, the whole ensemble sits on an attached base incorporating an active subwoofer and is controlled by a smaller but similarly funky shaped remote control. The ep9012 aims to be the ultimate in plug-and-play big screen home cinema fun - just stick it on a table, add a DVD of your choice and press play... Well, almost.

For starters you're going to need a booster cushion on the sofa just to see over the top of it, and its sheer mass generates a gravitational field that attracts stray popcorn kernels.

The remote control, despite its neat style, is a complete pain to hang on to, and more often than not ends up careering across the room like a frisbee when you go for the play button. It's so small it's bound to be lost down the back of the sofa within days, and its pearly white finish will probably confuse the dog into thinking it's a nice crunchy bone. Mmm.

Compared to Optoma's all-in-one home cinema projector, the MovieTime DV10, the bulk and ugly styling of the HP is all the more disappointing. Although inevitably large, the MovieTime is slicker, more stylish, and doesn't look like a fruit blender. Unfortunately the MovieTime isn't sold in the UK.