Ordinary man plays videogames for many hours

Not Zach
This isn't Zach. Zach's alone. With deader eyes

No idea why this is news. The Sun is reporting on the shock case of an unemployed 17-year-old youth called Zach, who spends 15 hours a day playing

Call of Duty

and

FIFA

on his Xbox (presumably 360, otherwise social services would have been called in).

The Sun seems to think this is out of the ordinary. As do the doctors, who have suggested that Zach's "marathon" sessions could cause health risks.

What they should be doing is encouraging Zach to push on through the 18-hour-a-day level, else he'll never be able to compete with the real GamerScore professionals. Come on, Zach. There are actually 24 hours in a day, you slacker. What are you wasting a whole nine of them on?

iWatermelon

We're not entirely convinced of the reality of the iWatermelon iPhone app or indeed of the underlying technology that's behind it, but it fits the Weird Tech remit 100 per cent so we'll tell you what little we know about it regardless.

DANGER! OVER RIPE! Try kicking it around the shop

iWatermelon was featured on Taiwanese news channel TVBS, and is an app that informs the would-be watermelon purchaser if the watermelon being offered by the vendor is ripe enough or not by analysing the sounds made as you tap on the melon. Could be real, or we could've just been "pwned" by a Taiwanese comedy show. See for yourself.

Mario Kerb

Some joker with (a) too much spare time and (b) access to a collection of durable professional-quality paints, has carried out a superb bit of tech vandalism in the town of Portland, Oregon.

The unknown artist covered the road surfaces with icons from legendary videogame Mario Kart, adding speed boost symbols to cycling lanes, star icons to the middle of the road - and banana skins to utterly confuse gaming commuters. The news report of the gonzo art stunt is online.

TYPICAL MARIO KART: Someone always gets crushed by a bus on the last corner

If Banksy had spent the early 1990s playing a SNES we could've got this instead of all his angsty gun/war stuff.

"...also transforms into a picnic table"

The nation of Iran inadvertently made itself look a bit silly this week, while in the process of unveiling its latest national defence weapon. Presumably designed to instil FEAR into the Western world and force the compliance of its troublesome neighbouring states, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad actually looked a bit silly unveiling something that looks like Gerry Anderson knocked it up in his shed in 1965.

Iran

IRANIANBIRDS ARE GO: Mustn't laugh, it's pointing towards us

The unmanned aerial weapon is supposedly capable of carrying out long-range bombing missions, but we think it's going to be more at home ferrying Lady Penelope between her town and country residences. That pod on the bottom is for her make-up and clothes. It's the cardboard clouds that appear to be leftover props from a school play that really ruin the sense of aerial menace.