Are you feeling bad? Feeling a bit guilty? Having trouble with the fact that it's a lovely day out there and all you've done is sit inside occasionally glancing out of the curtains to smile at what a lovely day it is before sitting down to reload Twitter for the 1000th time since lunch?
Well, the TrekDesk might help. Gadget blog Crave unearthed the full-on in-house exercise solution, which allows guilt-ridden internet addicts - or weight-obsessed office employees with understanding colleagues - to walk and jog while remaining fully connected to the Matrix and seeing who's gone offline and who's come online.
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GET ON UP: For non-embarrassed American executives only
TrekDesk's maker's guide to the benefits claims that "Chairs are the enemy" and you'll lose 1-2lbs per week by simply walking on the spot in front of your computer monitor throughout the working day. There's an entertaining publicity video on the dangers of sitting at a desk on YouTube.
Everyone involved would appear to be serious about it.
Star Trek loses realistic edge
One of the writers of famed sci-fi series Star Trek: The Next Generation has pretty much just ruined it, for everyone, for ever, by revealing exactly how little effort was put into most of the scripts. It turns out the writers wrote the basic story, then any critical conundrums were solved by getting the "tech" people to write some nonsense that filled in any plot gaps.
An interview with series writer Ron Moore gave away the dull nature of the show's science, with Ron and the other writers apparently leaving parts of the script pages blank for the tech people to fill in with bland, generic technobabble to get them out of holes.
MAKE IT SO: "Try blowing on it, Deanna" [Image credit: ugo.com]
It's a terrible revelation, ruining the series we religiously watched in the hope that Deanna might wear the classic skirt/boots combination she sported in the opening episodes again.
Pepsi apologises for 'sexist' iPhone app
Poor old major corporation Pepsi thought it was being all edgy and underground by creating an iPhone app to promote its Amp energy drink, based around categorising women as if they were meat products on the shelves of a supermarket.
The woman-counting pulling assistant even contained a 'brag list' so men could take notes on the charming ladies they managed to anaesthetise enough to get to consent to relations.
People, probably women ones, complained, resulting in the energy drink's Facebook page (!) being forced to explain the app was meant for "over 17s" who had somehow "opted in". Here's a video of Pepsi's sexist lady catalogue in action, if you're in the mood for getting offended about something today...
A fuller apology was, of course, made on Twitter. If we were the offended parties, we'd demand the apology was made again in a proper fashion. No one means anything they say on Twitter.
International Horrify a Random Stranger Day
Interesting internet find of the last half hour before deadline is Mystery Google, via the Telegraph, a twist on the search portal that might have you inadvertently doing very bad things.
Mystery Google directs you to the search results of the person who conducted the search before yours, meaning you'll be sent something stunningly random from anywhere else in the Google-using universe.
It's basically little more than a random search result generator. If you can't think of your own sick filth to investigate, here's your answer. You could also blame the resulting knock on the door at 4.00am to seize your computer equipment on Google.
SORRY DEAR: Google made me look at those photographs of Rachel Riley