Wear Wolves: internet commenters are howling about this week's Google Wear annoucements

Wearheads prepare to battle Glassholes

Google finally released the first two Android Wear devices this week, with both the LG G Watch and Samsung's Gear Live popping up for pre-order shortly after the wearable version of Android was highlighted at the tech company's annual IO conference.

Is the arrival of Wear hardware a massive revolution in wearable technology, as Google would have us believe? Or is it simply another avenue to see the same notifications we see on our phones, only on a smaller screen, with a smaller battery and less usable keyboard options?

As the wave of 'first impressions' and vague reviews of the G Watch and Gear Live appeared online, there was a clear divide between the users and the observers. Those granted early access to the hardware seemed to love the wearable world, or were at least wary about criticising a new thing before it's had a chance to bed in.

But those watching on from the sidelines are happy to sneer about the pointlessness of this race to the wrist. Unless we're talking about the Moto 360, in which case the 'take my money' memes were out in force.

"OK, Watch, tell me what the time is"

On Cnet, the very first comment was of the extremely negative variety, with reader Madmaxde saying: "Oh, these are just too cool. I can imagine some exec, wearing a $200 watch with his/her $5000 Armani suit. The only people who will buy one of these are techies and those morons who always think they just have to have the latest craze. I still haven't seen a practical use for a watch that must be charged every day."

If you skipped the rest of the comment, the "too cool" bit was ironic. In reply a little further down, reader Cloudmatt was bordering on the impressed but not quite ready to commit just yet, posting: "That's some slick stuff they showed off, still going to stick with my Citizen. They got me interested for the future though."

Who watches the smartwatches?

The Guardian focused on Samsung's return to the smartwatch scene for the third (or fourth or fifth?) time in the space of a year, a move that baffled commenter Zongamin, who scoffed: "Samsung on their 3rd attempt at a smart watch now - they really hate their customers don't they?"

LG G Watch

The LG G Watch not only has to compete with other wearables but also your average wristwatch, like Cloudmatt's beloved Citizen

It wasn't popular with Blufog either, who said Samsung's effort is: "A Google watch so ugly it almost makes Google Glass look good."

There's some good news for Google's Android Wear ambitions in the thread, though, as any talk of wearables online seems to turn to the as-yet unavailable Moto 360, or The Lovely Round One as it's known.

Commenter PipandPK summarised most people's hopes for the 360 with: "If the Moto 360 releases with the watch face that won their design competition they will clean up. Finally a smart watch that looks useful and elegant - just hope they don't try to make it do too much and can get the battery life it needs."

Whoever first invented the circle must be well pleased.

Broken wrist

There was no such enthusiasm on Engadget from reader Sere83, who doesn't get it at all, saying: "Is it just me or does anyone one else think these watches don't look particularly useful? A load of notifications and Google Now basically on your wrist. Seems a big hoo-ha over what's essentially not very much functionality at all."

To which Qylix responded quite cleverly and perhaps with some small amount of Apple bias: "Those companies that are first to market very seldom have the imagination to dream up innovative products. Clearly no one has dreamt up what a smart watch SHOULD be. Hopefully Apple can come to the rescue yet again like they did for the MP3 player, smart phone, and tablet computer markets."