Gordon Brown promises free laptops for the deserving poor

21. Sorry, need to put that right. I'm not a five earner, thats me and the missus combined, got to give her some credit.

20. @ scottgilbert

Not really mate, five figure earner. But I was right, you are a w a n k e r.

19. oh no, do you come from a poor background?

get over it otherwise log on here

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Counselling/Pages/Introduction.aspx

get some counselling

18. The t w a t s on here who seem to think, joking or otherwise, all poor kids are street roaming yobs, and their parents are no better.

17. who is an elitist w a n k e r?

16. What a set of elitist w a n k e r s you are.

15. d-amn it, those ****** means w h o r e s in reference to those who sold they bodies for 0.25kg of superb ny crack

14. since mobile phones usually have more txt msg per month than previously surely the govenmnet should ban txt speak to encourage people to type in the correct english.

maybe we should remove spell checker as well?

ps do i get a prize as the answer is 0.25k per *****?

13. Curse Techradar's censorious software! That should read "16 women who sell their bodies".

12. You rumbled me, scottgilbert. I am neither poor nor deserving of our government's largesse!

I believe a few years ago there was a row in New York when some teachers were setting math tests with questions along the lines of 'If I have 4 kilos of smack and 16 *****s, how long does it take me to waste 2 muthas?' What wasn't discussed was whether speaking to these kids in their own language resulted in higher grades.

If the government really has such funds set aside, I think they would be better spent on improving basic literacy and mathematics, provision of child care, hiring more teachers, improving schools in general. Brown's idiotic 'empowerment'/'surveillance' waffle is just insulting.

11. well ripsnorter, i believe your education has already started and it is of a good standard.

Literacy - identifying who you are and what your intentions are. A+

"Because I'm poor and intend to use mine for surfing for porn" (possibly of numeracy involved here?)

Numeracy - showing evidence of various mathematical abilties A+

"dealing /), ebaying stolen goods (+&-) and ordering booze and ciggies (*)"

But also dealing involves other subjects (D:you owe me £5! SH:no i dont; D:no i sold you this ***** last thursday(history) at 1040 outside your skool (location) kant (noun)(punch to the face!)(PE)

so we have covered history+geography+PE+ICT as it will be on facebook l8r.

The evidences is all there; recieving laptop, setting it up (ITC), doing daily literacy and numeracy work, supporting the family (budgeting).

ps

D=Dealer

SH=Smackhead

10. @scottgilbert

Because I'm poor and intend to use mine for surfing for porn, dealing, ebaying stolen goods and ordering booze and ciggies. That all comes under 'family enjoyment' in my household. Couldn't give a toss about Darren's, Lee's, Wayne's, Elvis', Sharon's, Tracey's, Mahindra's, Winston's and my other kids' education.

9. What is wrong with everyone here, you all are so negative.

Where is your evidence to indicate these laptops will not be used in their proper manner ie education, and family enjoyment?

8. Um, yeah, I guess the kids whose reports will be viewed are the same one roaming the streets in gangs, throwing stones at our windows?

Like the parents actually care about school reports. Or care about anything except where the next bottle comes from.

7. Whilst it is clearly important for any pupil to have access to the Internet today, how is 'poor' defiend? Do you have to 'sign-on' first? And how is the request processed? On what ground? Next subject will be: "Who is the lucky manufacturer?" - And will Microsoft give away free operating systems? I doubt it. If any chance - families can get a voucher and have to order from a government controlled website....but how? No PC! I can see cost effective operating systems working within the scheme, like the new "whytwitter Netbook Pack". http://www.netbookpack.co.uk Works like Chrome OS and has full support included, makes a difference from any other Linux based platform. But the hardware problem will remain, so will be the definition of 'poor'.

6. So instead of the children of the fat, ugly and stupid... I mean, poor, using these free laptops to better themselves, they are actually surveillance devices so that their parents, no doubt taking time off from boozing, smoking, dealing drugs and thieving, can follow reports (written by overworked and underpaid teachers, presumerably) on their underachieving, genetically doomed, offspring's academic non-progress, because the little brats are playing truant and out shop lifting instead. Good one Gordon. You get my vote. NOT!

5. How to make your party popular in 5 easy steps.

1. You realise you are not going to win the next election

2. Announce loads of schemes that will cost the tax payer loads of money.

3. Lose election

4. New government has to cut schemes so country doesn't go bankrupt.

5. New opposition announces how the government is the government of cuts and it would never have happened under them.

4. Nicolas, you cynic!

I take it you are not a fan of laughable pie-in-the-sky thinking?!

I wonder what the Tories will offer us that could possibly be better than FREE LAPTOPS? ;)

3. Off the boat at Dover and collect your free lappy, your list of benefits and your map of how to get to the DHSS office!