In the grand tradition of gobby, self-absorbed D-list celebs, Evan Seinfeld (you know, the former bassist with 1990s thrash band Biohazard) has threatened to "kick the shit" out of anyone he ever catches downloading his music or movies through BitTorrent or P2P sites.

Although Biohazard disbanded in the mid-90s, Seinfeld, who had a bit-part in HBO prison drama Oz, is now married to the admittedly rather gorgeous pornstar Tera Patrick with whom he runs a porn empire, even performing in some films under the pseudonym ‘Spyder Jonez’.

Stealing

However, Seinfeld’s apparently free-spirited and liberal approach to life doesn’t quite extend into the world of P2P and BitTorrent file-sharing. The bassist-turned-swordsman recently told Metal Edge magazine:

"Downloading free music is stealing. There’s no other way about it… That’s the way the band makes a living. If you like that band, you shouldn’t download their music for free because it can make the band go out of business," Seinfeld said.

When asked about how BitTorrent and P2P sites affected his adult movie business, Seinfeld was even more upfront with his views:

Scumbags

"Do people wake up in the morning, look into the mirror, and say, ‘I steal other people’s shit all day?’ If so, you should know that you are a scumbag and if I catch you I will kick the shit out of you."

It seems that in his haste to come over all Chuck Norris, Seinfeld appears to have overlooked the fact that while file-sharing remains a civil offence punishable by hefty fines, beating file-sharers to a bloody pulp with the heel of your boots is a much more serious criminal offence punishable by several years in choky.

As our cousins from across the pond might say ‘what a schmuck!’.