With the majority of gaming journos already sat in departure lounges waiting to go to E3, this week's 7DiG has sifted through the pre-scheduled ramblings and summed it all up in our now familiar jovial manner.
Some of this week's headliners include Max Payne, the BBC and Zynga – just imagine what would happen if those three got in a lift together. Max Pyne eradicating Daleks from FarmVille. Or something.
Let's be honest, if the BBC had got its apparent wish to send the United Nations Space Council into the current various world crises, we're guessing Masterchief would have to brush up on his diplomacy. We're fully expecting Bungie to use Auntie's logo for the Big Bad Corporation villains in what ever it is doing next as revenge.
We've updated our best free games piece with a whole raft of new thrifty goodness. If you don't like them you can go to hell. Actually, no, if you DO like them you can go to hell, it's at number 19 in the list.
When it comes to bald assassins with barcodes tattooed on their head we're normally absolutely on board - but doesn't 47 from Hitman look a little too much like the Gadget Show's Jason Bradbury? Suspicious. CVG has an in-depth look at the Hitman Absolution demo.
We have a bit of a soft spot for pill-popping psychopath Max Payne, and although we love building up the calluses on our thumbs playing on our consoles there's something just that bit more satisfying about playing Max Payne 3 on PC – the platform that first introduced us to the gravelly-voiced mass murderer / hero. The PC version is out today and here's a trailer.
And while we're on the topic – 7DiG was lucky enough to catch up with Rockstar and Euphoria engine builder Natural Motion to talk about Max and teasingly ask questions about another forthcoming title. Deaths will apparently be AMAZING.Read more in the Tech of Max Payne 3
With E3 2012 not just around the corner but basically leaning out and screaming at us in a slightly over-enthusiastic manner, we can't wait to see what the next gen of the next gen will bring. As well as being linked to buying up game streaming service Gaikai apparently Sony is going to launch…. an eBook reader service. Fun.
More exciting is the prospect of an 18 rated Star Wars 1313 game that has emerged in a Spike TV trailer. We're thinking the mature rating will be more about the 'exotic' weapons and violence than gold bikinis and Jabba's palace. [GameSpot]
Want to know who won the Activision versus Infinity Ward Call of Duty lawsuit? Well, so do we, because all parties have settled out of court and are sworn to secrecy. [CVG]
Last – in our customary nod to the world of casual games, Zynga will apparently use the Unreal engine to further blur the lines between casual and core gamers. Farmville would be SO much better with railguns… [Pocket Gamer]
We'll leave you with our light dusting of amazing links from around the Future gaming sites, with a zest of Golden Joysticks and a buttery biscuit base hand-crumbled by OXM.
Official Nintendo Magazine
Official Playstation Magazine
Official Xbox Magazine