We still don't know when the hell we'll be able to play Doom, but id software took a big step in the right direction this week by showing off the first footage. Unfortunately none of that was recorded, so instead we'll just have to against our better judgement and believe what some people wrote on the internet.
The first thing you need to know is that the game is just called Doom. Not Doom 4. Not Doom: The Beginning. Not Doom-Doom-Shake-The-Room. Just Doom. It's an origin game (because no one's doing those these days) that takes place on Mars and runs on the next step of the Id's tehnology, Id Tech 6.
It also sounds like the most brutal Doom yet, and you won't be sneaking around so much as you will blowing the living Carmack out of Hell's best and brightest. And you'll be able to double-jump. And climb up the sides of crates and up through gaps. Parkour!
We're also told the game also brings back the chainsaw which you'll be able to use to dice up enemies in any direction. Yum.
"The short version: it's Doom, but with ludicrously violent, ultra-fast melee finishers. Not even sure if Bulletstorm was on this level in that respect. Otherwise? It looks ok. Fast combat, linear levels, emphasis on madcap action over scares." said Rock Paper Shotgun.
"A key feature will be stunning enemies with a shot, then smashing their face with your boots. It's happened five times already," said PC Gamer on Twitter.
We're told one scene showed the player tearing off the arm of an enemy guard and using the severed hand to unlock a door by scanning its fingers. We can't wait for a Wii U version.
Enter the beta
One of the biggest additions are the narrative and cutscenes, explaining who you are, who the Ghosts are and what that massive sphere in the sky is all about. Plus, there are some new missions to sink your teeth into.
Anyone who played the alpha will also note that some of the voices have changed, and some other dialogue edited (oddly, the now-famous line "that wizard came from the moon" has been removed entirely). And everyone sounds a bit more robotic.
But perhaps the best news is that loading times have been reduced. Hoorah!
If you played the alpha then you can expect a bit more polish in other places too. If you missed out, you can go jump into the action right now. And if you're an Xbox One or Xbox 360 owner, you'll get beta access on July 23.
Sony also unveiled its Destiny PS4 this week. Corrr.
There's a special PS4 for The Last of Us too but it's a bit uggers. You still want to see it? Sure? Just buy the Destiny one, seriously.
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Fight! Fight! Fight!
We could have finished with a lengthy bit of spiel on all the new The Last of Us Remastered news, but in our eyes, something much more important took place this week: Tekken 7.
The beloved beat-em-up franchise is making a welcome return, and lucky EVO 2014 attendees were treated to the brand new trailer. But unfortunately Tekken producer Katsuhiro Harada, who spoke at the event, made no comment on release dates or platforms.
Look, just give us custom fighters and Gon and we'll be happy.