Disney's lawyers must think they are pretty clever with their 57-page, on-screen EULA that comes with the Sleeping Beauty Blu-ray disc. I can just imagine them giggling hysterically into their Martinis as they sit around in the bar after work, congratulating themselves on this master stroke. The idea that anyone - I mean literally anyone on the entire planet - will actually read through 57 pages of small print displayed on their TV screen is of course risible.

That's the whole point. The number 57 was decided on by extensive focus group testing as being precisely the number of pages required to ensure that no one will read to the end. And in fact pages 3 to 56 are probably just cut and pasted from various random legal documents culled from the net. Their purpose is to act as a buffer, to place soothing distance between the inviting convenience of the "I Agree" button and the crucial page 57. Which says this:

"By reading this document, you agree to upgrade your entire collection of Disney movies to Blu-ray, within six weeks of them being released and to similarly upgrade your library to each and every new format as and when they become available. This shall occur regardless of the fact that your youngest child is now 27 and you have seen Aristocats approximately 860 times."

Well, it probably doesn't say that. But it might, who knows? The point is that whatever it does say, you'll agree to it anyway.

I should probably point out at this point that, by reading this sentence, you are deemed to have agreed to my EULA, which requires you to "accede to my every whim, however unreasonable". No, it's no use looking away quickly. I know you read the EULA. That means you agreed and now I own you.