It really isn't easy being a technology 'journalist'. But sometimes you do get to have a bit of fun. Yesterday I walked around Bath town centre to try and find out how many PlayStation 3 consoles were still available to pre-orderand buy.
Perhaps somewhat naively, I took some business cards with me and my initial strategy was to introduce myself as a news reporter from Tech.co.uk and to ask staff in shops like HMV and Game how many PS3s they haveetc.
Big mistake. The mention of the word 'journalist' immediately seemed to terrify most of the shop workers. Most of them gave me a weird, worried stare as if to say "Listen to me journalist, I am a mere shop assistant, please do not bother me with your evil journalistic wickedness. Please retreat back into the fiery hell ghetto where you came from."
I swear one woman in HMV wet herself at the very sight of just my business card.
It didn't matter what I asked after that, they were completely petrified of me and even as I began to say the words, "can I just asyou a few questions about..." they were already taking very small stepsbackwards, eyes moving rapidly from side to side, desperately looking for anescape route.
And there was stupid me thinking I was looking particularly non-threatening yesterday afternoon, I was clearly being very silly.
After getting no joy out of a particularly sweaty manager inHMV I decided to change strategy. I took off my hat, ruffled up my floppy hair, took off my jacket and jumper and walked straight back into the same store I hadjust left.
This time, no cards, nothing about being a member of thepress, no identification. I simply went in armed with a crazy smile and gawpy eyes.
"Oh my God!" I said to exactly the same man who'd turned meaway five minutes earlier. "I just HAVE to get myself a PlayStation 3 tomorrow.Yeah! I'm so excited!! Nice one, mad for it!"
I tried to sound as enthusiastic as possible, whilst conveying naivety, ignorance, density and just a hint of weirdness. I felt that displaying all these qualities would help the HMV man identify me as a classic PlayStation lunatic fanboy. I even threw in the odd neck twitch for extra authenticity.
"If I were to come in on Friday, will I be able to get a P-P-PlayStation if I don't pre-order...?"
As soon as the man thought he might be in with a chance of selling me one of those £425 plastic boxes, he was very interested in talking to me and suddenly wanted to volunteer information. He obviously didn't recognise me. Silly man.
I exited the shop six minutes later feeling very good about myself; not only was I CLEARLY a great actor, but I am also, it seems, a master of disguise.
I used a similar strategy in the rest of the Bath stores,and managed to get some very interesting figures out of quite a few of them.Currys.digital for instance, had only three PS3 consoles and yet has only taken twopre-orders.
Read the associated NEWS STORY with all the numbers and analysis.
So, will I be buying a shiny new PlayStation 3 this weekend? Ummm, how about... no. But that's another story.
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